emotional health related thing
Yep, insomnia!
It's time for Longing for a Combination of Not Especially Well-Explained Comforts!
Like for instance, it would be perfectly normal to want a relationship, D&D games, kink, more media about dinosaurs, regular therapy, more local exploration, kayaking, martial arts classes, participation in furry conventions, *or* crepes, right? Desire for ALL of them and more makes me feel like some sort of emotional black hole. Unfocused desire so vague it swaps between aspects of all of these things feels weirdly worse, but given how these things work, maybe everyone gets the equivalent?
re: emotional health related thing
... hanging around my parents' house and looking at their vacation photos from NZ doesn't necessarily help with material desires (remember, I'm similar enough to them that some stuff they have or do really appeals to me).
I like "lagom" in theory; but when I combine having always been poor and having things out of reach for me which are accessible to others (oh boy, does that lead into my issues!); contrast of social messages that I should want all sorts of stuff *and* that I am a horrible greedy monster; and how the gentle, positive aspects of asceticism become beating myself up extremely easily; figuring out what "just enough" is becomes kinda convoluted. And it's definitely too convoluted for 3 AM, y'know?