Gløwer @Oneironott@awoo.space

So I guess as a passing note now that I'm crossposting things to twitter: content under 'twitter crosspost" cw vary from SFW to NSFW

#Introductions

Hello! I'm Vloelei! I'm a transfeminine postfurry, otherkin, Neptunian Otter!
In a material sense, I reside currently around Cleveland, Ohio. I work IT of sorts here and plan to not be here much longer.
In an immaterial sense, I live on a planet called Halcyon, although I'm known to wander to all manner of places helping folks!
I enjoy good and bad movies, craft beer, music & production of, Reading/Writing, and generally meeting new folks and being social :)

despite feeling improved, I have little to no capacity to actually hold a conversation or say correct words today. It has been bad, but today is possibly the worst I can remember such things being.
I can hardly think and have exhausted myself doing just that because I Needed To, and now I'm just so burnt out, to the point of paranoia and anxiety loops.
Being Nice To Myself doesn't mean I have to be all smiles about this brain weather. UGH.

So, in reflection I am almost in awe of the fact that I had fun and had frisky, positive experienced AND bumps of large dysphoria and depression that DIDN'T ruin my whole evening.

I went away from last night with the loose feeling like things went bad, even though I had fun. That in itself has become an ingrained feeling due to my previous and shifting understanding about what it is to "be healing" or "healed".
The goal isn't and shouldn't be "can deal with emotions/mental states like a neurotypical person and get through the evening without bumps"
It's "Can have bumps while accepting that I am neurodiverse and still have a fun, good time."

Existing is exhausting and i want out

Man, I’m so tired of this planet and this era and *gesticulates everywhere* living

“Depression at the Orgy” is my ‘Panic At The Disco’ industrial cover band

Fittingly, despite all my prep to make it to tonight’s ritual, one instance of my brain misparsing the time has rendered me unable to go.
Apparently such ritual involves the topic of Healing, which is so immensely fitting that i fail to make it like i’ve failed to make enough progress in my healing to even do basic things like “make it here on time”

Mood crash… feel…… heavy

I’m overwhelmed and amazed at this. It’s so beautiful and looking at my paw and seeing that feels so, so good. Where i’m from… who i am… what i am… 💙
So many thanks to @tastymochafox, who made this possible for me, and who i got matching ones with ^.^
*squeak!!*

Boy toys drinking mai tais

NW Neptunian swim club

I love the waiting room at SCS because there are SO MANY CUTE QUEER FOLKS

When do i tell my therapist that I’m not human

(This is a gross exaggeration of how i would go about wording it to anyone with a lack of knowledge on the issue)