distressed egg 🍳 🔞 @distressedegg@awoo.space

JUST SO Y'ALL ARE AWARE: i've moved over to @distressedegg@mellified.men! please follow for the same good good spicey content, but now in FULLY-FEDERATED 4K HIGH DEFINITION THX SURROUND SOUND IMAX FORMAT. guaranteed to blow yoUR DICK A W A Y

JUST SO Y'ALL ARE AWARE: i've moved over to @distressedegg@mellified.men! please follow for the same good good spicey content, but now in FULLY-FEDERATED 4K HIGH DEFINITION THX SURROUND SOUND IMAX FORMAT. guaranteed to blow yoUR DICK A W A Y

just a little heads up: a LOT of folks from AD Twitter are trickling onto Mastodon and getting accounts on instances that I can’t actually see or interact with here, soooo I’m gonna be switching accounts a little later today to a different instance that’s more widely federated. Will post details once I get it set up. thanks for yr patience!

in a perfect world money wouldn't be an issue. but it is. please consider paying me a reasonable fee to draw your original characters doing horny shit. thank you

don't get me wrong, i enjoy drawing porn for no monetary compensation, but i also enjoy things like "paying bills" and "occasionally purchasing small, low-cost items and experiences, like dinner dates or travel tickets, that help make life more vivid and interesting"

thinkin about.... streaming again later this week

i'm actually considering stratifying live sketch commission prices so i can ideally make a little extra well-needed pocket change in the weeks to come

periodic reminder: TERFs can fuck right off

somewhat perturbed to realize this instance isn’t federated with yiff.life

https://ramheadedgirl.com/games/shipoftheseus/# also i know i boosted this earlier from @minty_da but hey this is a neat little game! i made a very cool cat monster. nice

you think anyone’s ever sucked dick in a hot air balloon basket before

who’s the one person who’s done that

oh shit all the cool kids are coming over here, hell yes

i used to have a friend who claimed they had invented and singlehandedly popularized big-hipped snake characters and in retrospect that is literally the most comically inaccurate claim ever

IF YOU UP FLORP THAT FUCKING PING

welcome friends :)

it's just a freaky word. no good can come of hearing that word

me: boobs are 100% awesome and i love everything about them, including having them. i used to think it was basic to like them, but no, actually. they're extremely good and i will probably like them until i die

also me: *literally can't bring myself to trust anyone who uses the word "buxom" in normal conversation"

FROM THE PATREON: June $20 patron sketches! apparently it's fucking hot all over the world right now. that's depressing. chilling in a freezer until you turn into a cute lil popsicle is less depressing though, at least

subscribe today for as low as $1! http://patreon.com/distressedegg #nsfw

gonna start tagging all my Korps toots with #korps, btw, on the possibility that there are a few of my watchers who might be getting sick of all this incessant supervillain goofery, lmao

drew this quick piece of Twitter user @KorpsPropaganda's character Audrey last night/this morning as a cooldown/warmup (in exchage for the RAD PICTURE OF SYBIL she drew me the other day-- https://twitter.com/KorpsPropaganda/status/1028538187881185280). Audrey has a variety fun pack of psychic powers, including the ability to erase herself from enemies' perception. useful! #korps

look at you, follower. a pathetic creature of memes and boners, panting and sweating as you scroll through my timeline