s0rd @howlingalice@awoo.space

i might actually try disabling notifs on my toots now :o because Ive definitely not posted things and generally gotten anxious about how other people perceive me here n think of me and what i post, as well as just. feeling like I gotta produce Content instead of just being able to write whatever

which I funnily enough never had a problem with on Birdsite but that's probably bc Birdsite doesn't have such a small community feel. everything felt a lot more anon there.

'big jug hot cheese' is the new household meme

can't tell whether the dream I just had was 'bad's or not. people kept getting... idk that they were killed? just stopped being there in a way that made us sad,

but I got warm fuzzies and felt really connected to whoever was there with me and I'm sad I don't know his name and I hope he's okay without me now because I don't suspect I'll fall back asleep to the same dream. :(

every time I see some variation of "mentally ill people cant/shouldnt do magick because they're not 'mentally clear' or they're 'not in control of their mental state/emotions'" my mentally ill ass ascends to a higher plane of existence, goodbye

whoa wtf I just learned Hiveswap came out like last month and I never heard about it? Im *surrounded* by Homestucks, how did this literally never come up?

obligatory disclaimer:

there's such toxic polarized discourse about all this so i'll make it clear ive got problems with the communities and behaviors i see, not ace people as a whole.

i just really need to talk about how frustrated i am sometimes because the ace communities completely failed me when I tried being part of them.

Every time I hear "I like being ace because it means I can't get STDs/HIV!" I die a little more inside

there's so many reasons i stopped calling myself ace and left those communities and that's a big one.

I've had this dang T pellet in my belly since I injected last week bc I just didn't wiggle it around enough and now Im trying to massage it out but when I do its so itchyyyyyyy

(for anyone who doesnt know, you gotta rub T in once it's injected or it kinda clumps together in one spot and makes a little pellet and its not harmful really but its weird and uncomfy)

Really, it's "madwoman" I feel the "I can call myself this but u cannot" feel with the most right now. And it's the "woman" part, specifically. "Mad" is fine, Im happy with that.

But its related to such a specific part of my identity that it feels wrong denying the 'woman' part and saying 'person' just to make sure other people dont get the wrong idea about me. I just generally hope the it/its pronouns get the NB part across loud n clear :V

I want my favorite cute doodles over on this account, too.

https://awoo.space/media/a21_P2nddyggKPx45Go https://awoo.space/media/2JjaNhqkqncFvoO0ves

Medical Boyfriend has never even heard of peach ice cream and Im appalled at the state I have moved to, how do Mass-dwellers live like this??

You know, I try to keep quiet about exactly who it is that worships me as a deity (and in fact I may gain another worshiper depending on how she ends up feeling about it) but when you're both posting vaguely in the same spaces about being worshiped/worshiping someone in a D/s context, I feel like people are gonna put two and two together pretty quickly.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯