Y'all I just gave the best theatrical performance of my ENTIRE LIFE to a whopping TWO PEOPLE I'm thrilled and distraught in equal measure
Okay so: I'm in the shop, with the dinosaur puppet on my arm bc it's been that sort of day, and a grandad notices it and taps his grandson on the shoulder and says "[name], look!" Boy approaches the counter and
Dinosaur: can I help you there sir?
Boy: *confused smile*
Dinosaur: can I help you at all?
Grandad: il a dit "je peux vous aider?"
Dinosaur: ohhh, vous parlez français? Oui, j'ai dit je peux vous aider?
Grandad: ah ouais nous sommes français! [name] le dinosaur est français aussi!
Boy: (extremly quiet) je suis français
Dinosaur: vous êtes içi en vacance, ou-
Me: uh mate I can't understand a word you're saying
Dinosaur: (extremely a puppet on the end of my arm whose voice is coming out of my mouth) wot
Me: je nuh... er... juh ne comprond... I don't speak French, what are you two saying
(Grandad is absolutely creasing at this point)
Dinosaur to boy: ...mon humain ne parle pas français, elle ne comprends pas une mot.
Boy: je ne parle anglais...
Dinosaur: je peux traduire
Folks for ten entire minutes I kept up the bit that I don't speak a word of French and the puppet is fluent. For ten entire minutes of Grandad looking like he was going to piss himself I kept interrupting this bilingual T-Rex's conversation with a small child so he could catch me up and/or translate my input for the kid. And the kid was young enough to believe us entirely.
