species dysphoria
I would give a lot of things to be able to see myself as i should be. To feel it all...
I devote a lot of time into trying to do so hah... but...
It really never is quite like it would be.
You ever imagine how it might feel to have that first moment of just… pure relief. Breathing in, and feeling the body you should have. Seeing it. Sensing it. A big sigh and just… calm.
The moments after the excitement when everything is just suspended in time with such glow.
species dysphoria
How it might feel to be able to go to sleep knowing that it’s not a dream. That you will wake up feeling just as right and whole.
How would it feel not to have this aching pain anymore.
species dysphoria (~)
I posted all that to twitter initially.
I don’t know why, since i feel I’ll get more solidarity here.
I fantasize a lot about death being this moment where we finally wake up elsewhere. Like… a finger snap and i’m… well… i guess it’s more of a feeling for me.
species dysphoria, bleak, death talk
@Oneironott I'm sorry vloelei ::(
species dysphoria, bleak, death talk
I will never know.
I will never feel it.
I will die with this ache in my heart.
I will die one day in this body
With these hands and feet
With this nose and arms and legs.
I will die in this body
And it will never truly be okay.