➡️ @Draekos@yiff.life @Draekos@awoo.space

Kinda frustrated that the like... nervous tick I seem to have is my left arm shaking and that's my drawing arm so it already kinda feels tired and I've not even picked up my tablet pen today.

And trying to stop from crewing the ends of my hair again. I'd dropped that habid a year ago. Really embarrassed about it being back but hey there we are.

I... I had some plans for today. They were yesterday's plans really. But that got eaten in anxiety attacks and just locking out the world and cleaning instead.

Today's been.... The last 6 hours have felt like a blurred and very long half hour. I know I've been either crying of like, involuntary micronapping on my desk.

Had a shower, it's... I dunno. Fresh tear lines now I guess?

Wanted to do some writing but that's not going to happen. Will try to draw something.

Really dunno what to do about queer people being fans of someone who's shitty about queer people but draws porn they like. :/

Aside from I guess just muting the artist's page so I don't see RTs.

In related news, wants to spend today working on my twine game and getting some chore things done.

Seems I'm spending it instead alternating between trying to clean and panic attacks.

Am... am I the only one who like, emotionally needs some warning of if a guest is going to be over for more than a handful of hours?

Like, generally the number of days they'll be visiting is also the number of days warning that's a bare minimum of me not being a ball of fucking anxiety?

is there a hydration bot on the fediverse?

I'm sorry for everyone who had me spamming that shit out.

I was like.

I was not ready for how horrible that was.

I'M FREE
FINALLY
I'M FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Also, it wants me to PRINT this certificate. wtf man, I don't have a printer at home :V

Guess I'll see if the roomie will do it for me.

She's not even dead. She's disabled now, but everything about this, including about how her family was talking about her, like she died.

FSS people she's not fucking dead. We hear her talking. Don't fucking treat her this way.

Also now there's this guy, yes that flag waves. Yes he's being recorded by like a 40 dollar mic
There was a sword-shwing noise when his name card popped up.

Why is every dead kid a fucking angel who lights up their whole community? Like it really pisses me off that death erases the humanity (and flaws) of people.

I lost someone in my friend circle in highschool. I still remember him as the rich kid who had a new car waiting for him before he'd even started learning to drive, and cheated at Warhammer (but people borrowed his armies so no one called him on it.)

"Texting while driving is the most common form of distracted driving"
Welp. Guess we're gonna do a ride along with a Missouri cop. For a Texas video.... OH GOOD, SEATBELTS on a highway.

They like talking about dead kids.
"cap and gown in the car, she'd graduate the next day" NICE. GOOD. COOL. NICE.

Oh good, long held camera on her sister, crying over having texted her "yeah", because checking it killed her.
FUCKING NICE.

"
What caused Baby David's death?
Killed by a drunk driver
Distracted driver
Walking across the street with his dad
"

BITCH I SEE YOU TEXAS I SEE YOU DOING THIS SHIT IT'S 2 and 3 but you fucks aren't going to let me say 3. You fucks.

And here's the next video. 15:44. Blissfully short. Oh boy. Not pressed play but I bet this time it's actually a drunk driving story.

Those Millenials? All talked with an empty chair to the right, then we hear from a woman who lost both her parents to a accident caused by a distracted driver.

And we get to watch all those 20somethings have to try to repeat why they use their phones to her face.

Congrats. 39 minutes of video later, you have something kind impactful.

This was tailed with a few clips that clearly were cut off the end of commercials because narrator and music hard jumps.

Oh good, 'Smiley' isn't dead, but bound to a wheelchair and unable to speak. We've already heard about his suicide attempts. And his dreams of like, just being alive normally.... oh we never actually hear anything about the car. He was just a passenger.

............oh good we're now on a montage of millennials about phones again. Like guys, you couldn't even stick to booze for a solid guilt trip?

unpausing now, 10 minutes left of this, questionnaire, another video (probably a similar 15-20 minute range) questions, then I'm DONE THIS HELL.

Doctor Montage aaannnddd....
"Drunk driving is also distracted driving" OH BOY let's see how this is going to be quietly but noticably bigotted :D

At least the music is-
"My friends at school used to call him Smiley"

OH gods I need to be drunk to watch this.

Thing is the way it's shot, the dad is standing at the passanger window, screaming over the corpse of her friend, holding the body of his daughter screaming "look what you've done" to a girl making a surprisingly good bit of acting at being in total shock.

AGAIN, THIS SHIT IS A NON-FAITHFUL REENACTMENT OF A CAR TRYING TO SPEED TO CATCH A YELLOW BEFORE IT TURNED RED.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING PUTTING YOUR STROLLER IN THAT INTERSECTION DAD?