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cute cryptid story 

you ever walk into a general store in the dead of night

it's not a ungodly time of the night, but it's enough to make the single employee glare at you because they have to close up and just want you to hurry up

they peer at you as your eyes trail along the aisles, searching for whatever you need tonight

but the employee bristles as your form unravels, still just barely in their field of sight; your hands, upon grabbing something they can't note, shrink down into paws; your pupils dilate into very narrow slits; and your ears visibly twitch, crawling up your head and turning sharper and sharper.

the last thing they see before you disappear behind the back of the store is your shoe, which is left behind as your furry foot steps out of it, too small to be contained now

at this point they just can't ignore you, and run towards you, only to find a cat next to a pile of clothes and a recently ripped apart cereal box, nibbling on its contents. you meow at the baffled employee.

"meow," you say.

"did you just turn into a cat."

you lick your paw nonchalantly.

"c-can i be a cat, too?" they ask nervously, perfectly aware how this must look on the security cameras. but they're done. they're just absolutely done.

their eyes light up when you nod at them and curl up around their leg, giving them a lick. you know all too well that their wish will be granted. and what a nice wish it was.

shitposting 

> milkshake
> milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard and the boys are -- wait, what
> why are the boys making out with each other

funny train of thought 

someone: baked beans
my brain: "hey what if someone threw your paws into a hot oven"
me: no

to whoever's reading: can i ask what jewelry means to you? are there any little trinkets that you carry with you all the time? or funny stories behind them? i'd love to hear them, i'm a sucker for cool or funny stories about little mundane stuff

y'know it's really wild that if pokemon didn't exist, or if nobody had come up with scolipede, i would've never started calling myself scoliwings

i'm v happy w/ my new ref of scoli... i know it gets confusing referring to both myself and my sona as scoli sometimes, but it really does feel like both are me

i mean, scoli's been my persona/sona/mascot for so long, maybe 7-8 years. their design's mostly solidified, and i like being seen as scoli, this cool red dragon with cat ears and feathery wings and stuff

maybe someday i'll get a fursuit of them, or a scalesuit, haha

by popular demand, here's the final draft of the Queer Villain Pride flag I did yesterday, along with a link to a hi-res version here: dropbox.com/s/abew1ci7y5xzt9q/

again: pink for passion, orange for community, green for knowledge, purple for queer history, and black for evil, pure EVIL. feel free to use this for whatever. mwa ha ha ha haaa, etc

../|/| i'd awoo for
< , ,\ you, you're
/ ‾‾\ very cute...

i ended up talking about cursed stories and creating some and discovering my power to write some truly cursed shit

i feel like my ribs are gonna break but i gotta laugh more

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mood: reading through tumblr threads on twitter and guffawing

"You are the Chosen One, whose task it is-"
"Does it pay?"
"-to... What?"
"This task, is it paid? Or is it for experience, exposure?"
"It is to save the world!"
"Cool, cool, so not paid. Are you paid?"
"We Solemn Guardians of-"
"Because if you are, I should be too."
"... fine."
#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories

...ooooor not. guess i gotta wait a few days for the new account to actually become an Account

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oh wait, i can just repost stuff by boosting them, it's not like i'll delete my old art acc

i'm not gonna break my wrists re-typing what i've already described gdi

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my biggest obstacle to reposting art on a new account is image descriptions

mobile won't let me c/p it DAMMIT

sup i made a new front page/portfolio/full art gallery!! i'll be updating this one first as art happens, before any sub-galleries (like here or tumblr or dA)

portfolio.catterfly.net

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