assistant fox keeper @somekindofcrow@awoo.space

I just watched the emoji movie why did I do that to myself.

Testosterone levels are going down again but not yet back to before I started taking spiro mild freakout ahhhhhhh

Okay I'm gonna form a cult.

We'll have an anti-suicide pact where we basically don't commit suicide together or otherwise.

Also we'll have cookies.

You're all invited.

I am definitely feeling sore when I press on my chest gently maybe this means boobs are finally growing and I'm so fucking terrified.

So very udderly terrified.

(The puns are coping mechanisms.)

Also I'm stress eating kim chi because it's the only thing in my fridge that isn't tomorrow's lunch or dinner and it burns.

Seattle Center has a very small number of gender neutral bathrooms and I've been carrying enough around that going into a small stall was hard

And so basically whenever I had to pee at Folklife I just went into the mens room and hiked up my skirt at a urinal.

Like if you didn't want me to do that maybe you should've built some gender neutral restrooms huh?

Okay a few days ago my ex unintentionally reminded me of a Major Trans Problem: the only fiction I have ever had published was published in a collection of poetry and art created by men.

Like the title is gendered and the theme of the anthology is "stuff from men who went to small liberal arts college".

So anyway I don't know how to feel about this right now.

omg i forgot i made this

Why the fuck is "how is the most stressful project you have going?" an acceptable greeting at work?

Kinda haven't posted for a bit. The last couple weeks have been very hard. Gonna try to crawl out of the hole I'm in bit by bit. Part of that I guess is attempting to interact with people again. :3 :3 :3

Running through a minefield full of depression and other triggers took everything out of me like who would've expected that???

Um I just got a ticket for the special queer edition/night of the Meetup for Noncreepy People Who Want to Fall in Love thing.

Nothing bad can come out of this, right?

Right?

Well.

That new episode hit like 20 Infinity Wars.

Yes Infinity War is now a unit of feelings.

Fuck.

Ahhhhh I am excited about this!!!

Okay my testosterone level went up after a solid month of meds what the fuck ahhhhhhhhhhh

It's probably normal and I shouldn't panic until I talk to my doctor Friday but ahhhhhhhhh.

Me: I am not good enough and I am not doing enough.
Also Me: Why am I still at work 3 hours past when I should have left?
Also Also Me: Capitalism!
Also Also Also Me: Why do I feel like I'm burning out?

Okay I think I realized why I'm okay with this movie and not overwhelmed with feelings.

1 - there is literally a giant deus ex machina glove and it's a comic book nothing can be taken at face value

2 - I very much emphasize with Thanos in that if the right half the people died many of my problems would probably be solved

Okay I can stay home and play video games and curl up in bed and be sad.

Or I can put on a dress and go outside and be social.

Life is difficult why is life difficult.

They did it.
I thought they might but wasnt sure.
But they did it.
They was beautiful.

Also the message after the post credits scene? A masterpiece.

I spent WAY too much time photoshopping this.
I'm sorry.
I'm actually not.

(Source for fox image is https://angeldice.deviantart.com/art/Nine-tailed-fox-276426878 according to Bing.)

I accidentally knocked a bunch of things off my bedside table and let's just say that a vibrator that's on + glasses + sharp corners of bedside furniture means that I need new lenses for my glasses.