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Okay one more thing, since now chatting with a friend who has similar "hole for a soul" feelings.
It's a loneliness that doesn't... loneliness is just the best word for it.
It's not being alone. I have a lot of social interaction, too much for my introverted tending self. And (as embarrassing as it ever feels to talk about) it's not loneliness in my skull.
No it's the loneliness that is the gaps in a object that seems like it should be whole.
Kintsugi always interested me as soon as I saw it. Maybe that initial interest was from this feeling? My soul being the metal making the pottery whole, and well, it feeling like it's not there???
Gods I need to put the phone down before I just don't sleep.
Also, no. The metaphorical vase pieces aren't ME. I don't think.