lewd/gender thought
@socket7@lewd.town being a perv is also valid, but there's no reason any of that makes your gender questions invalid. Maybe you only think about this stuff when you're feeling lewd because it's the only time your self image matters to you. Maybe it's because it's just the time you feel most free to think about it. There's plenty of possibilities, and I think purposely thinking about gender stuff while you're not horny and judging your reactions might help you figure it out.