So I spend two hours for finding one link and one book in the library.
Somestimes I wish my editor would help searching. but she is not editor full time in a publishing colective and somehow theses structures are pretty exhausting and disadvantageous when you are disabled and used to plan and structure everything, bc you have to calculate how many spoons you have and how long they might last. In future I will prefer to collaborate with other disabled folks, these even unvoluntarily ableist >>
are so exhausting, I am close to a lack of words for it. I often feel miserable and left alone during the process and that's not okay.