i did it anyway and it turns out you cannot. (not the stuff you'd get in the herbs/seasonings aisle at the grocery store anyway) my instinct to search was right. ah, hubris.
i ALSO found a nice little video about how to plant storebought celery instead of starting from seed which is neat!!
(if ur curious: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkY5y63fSV8 )