Hopeless relationships
Relationships are hard... I was in a long distance one for over a decade & it's given me a fear of committing to another without knowing there's a future in it.
Take this person for instance, I like them, I wish we could be together, but they won't move here & due to my situation I'm not even sure it's possible, yet I cannot move there either because it'd be my death. It's in a deadlock already with no future, but at the same time I can't just give up on the possibility.
Hopeless relationships
Sometimes I really do consider the viability of just taking that gamble, hoping that it plays out right & knowing if it doesn't it'd be the end... but while I am desperate, I am not *that* desperate, at least not yet...
Hopeless relationships
Now I say that it'd be a "death sentence" & their response is that things aren't as bad as they come across in the media... however they're bad enough & they're getting worse, plus even if that wasn't true it is still my perception, the source of my anxiety of it all, so true or not, does that not make my fears valid...?
Fact of the matter is that I'd have to sacrifice much of what has kept me alive & gamble my life on the good faith of another.