mh (-? maybe +? I dunno)
The sensation I have of constantly on the edge of losing focus on what I'm done. The inability to have a stable life routine at all even though I very much want one...
I deeply hope that's... some kinda of mental oddity? I want it to be a problem I can fix, cause if this is being typical brain situations and not depression or something... Oof. That's actually fucking scary.
Yeah I'm gonna start the look for a therapist again this week. I keep meaning to. I'm actually going to do it this time.
re: CW for: Roadqueen: Eternal Roadtrip To Love
There's some actually kinda shitty consent issues in the premise, but it's light hearted enough to not be problematic in my opinion?
on genders, words, and identities
I feel... a little odd lately? I just identify as 'girl'? Mainly lesbian? Trans as fuck.
But I look around and like, wow, holy shit where'd all these enby people show up from lately?
Buuuut. But. The thing is, they've been here all along and are coming out once more as not just noncis but also nonbinary! I fucking LOVE IT. Gimme those good good wordplays of identity, find the one that fits you, wear it with pride! (Try to give it a good flag, Please. Looking at you Polyamory, I love you folks but that flag is baaaad)
I dunno where this thought was going but like:
Am 'just' a trans girl, with some plural problems. I don't want to be the new gatekeeper of identity shit that cis folks are to me.
the day, the only sad post I'll make today I promise.
Never really cared about V-day til now. Fucking corp holiday, but man the scars on my heart feel way too fresh right now.
Thought I was handling it better than this. Today's gonna be rough.
BUT ANYWAY, like this is me and my shit I got myself into. If the day makes you happy please like, keep doing that? Thanks for taking the time to read this. I hope you and your loved ones have a good time
re: 🥗 📷 thoughts
So... it took me like... an HOUR to do? I guess bake time was ~30 minutes, but like.... I dunno.
I've never been good with cooking. Had some early failures and less-than-helpful attempts to help me learn. Honestly needed to be talked down from a small panic attack just going out to get groceries but like...
This tastes good. I made this and it's good. Holy shit is this what being an adult feels like?
Thank you for the recommendation, Beth <3
(And thank you old lady at the store who suggested the raspberry and walnut vinaigrette! I had some orange to add to this too, but I may have just ate that while waiting <_<)
re: As heard on mid-day AM radio (madness ahead)
Like, I knew talk radio was bad but like wow, It's interesting to spend a small time listening to people who think "progressive" is an insult.
Like.... wow.
sorry for bringing all this onto your timeline. I'm going to go make a late lunch then do some art.
As heard on mid-day AM radio (madness ahead)
So my drive home from the grocery store is like.... 10 minutes. With radio instead of my music (new phone shows up late today or tomorrow) In this time I have heard:
-All cellphone companies put large ammounts of money into supporting "progressive gun nabber liberals". You should go with [some company with Patriot in it's name].
-"It's such a shame people go to places of worship because it's family tradition. I know this one family who goes to one that an ancestor founded, even though it has become liberal they no longer teach the lord's true words."
-Tuning into the end of A stating emphatically that Regan was an alien...
A:"...And they had this one place in aread 51, I kid you not there were 3 flying saucers in there, pilot sits on up in the middle of em (goes on for a while)"
B: "So you saw the stealth bomber?"
A:"I've said all I can say, I can't say anything, you're not getting anything out of me."
Underdark DnD game trip report:
-Kobolds, scream and throw up. a lot. Ew.
-It's awkward when you change religion from the local god of battle, as a watchwoman. Since the head offices are in the temple
-Dwarves are fucked up.
-I wish the warlock would stop staring at things that aren't real. Also why'd that paper move?
-Time undergrown is hard to track in hours. but easy to track in screams. Kobold screams. a day is 3 screams. each a rotation of kobolds just.... screaming? for some reason? I don't understand but you can set your fucking watch by it.
music, and someone being wrong (and racist?)
You know... I used to be the kid who would "listen to anything that wasn't rap or country".
I deeply enjoy stuff that falls into both of those, hell, I did back then too. We all grow and change.
But like.
"Rap isn't singing" because it doesn't display pitch control like operatic singing???? That's like, if not directly racist, buying into some really racist opinions yeah?
This person is wrong, and like, they're supposedly getting better about... being not republican anymore. But oof. Just... oof. Not the first really racist/queerphobic thing he's said too :/
re: late night hornt """problems""", plural
why do I always feel extra hornt when also extremely unstable in self image?!
re: late night hornt """problems"""
oh no I think I just accidentallied into her being for ctf too. Oh no.
Sorry, I've moved accounts D: