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Just... not okay 

When I’m alone with my thoughts, and worryingly sometimes when I’m not alone too, I have this almost-nausea sensation in my stomach and I’m just... not okay. Something is just... off in a very bad way. It’s insidious, this feeling, because the best description I can muster is “not okay” and that sounds so mild, yet it’s anything but mild. It’s like standing before an oncoming train and I can’t move. I can’t even scream. Something is just... very wrong... I’m just not okay.

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