Cabinet Derg @Motodrachen@awoo.space

@Mottie Yeah. I've got a slightly different mechanism of action on my end, but I feel ya on all those points.

The truth I've found by accident however is that... Well, the meatsuit matters a LOT less than projection and security in your Self. The Girl in your Soul will help you 'Pass' way better than your vocal register, bodyshape, or even facial hair.

Because I'll have days where Kerithe is fronting, and at full capacity, and I'll be paying attention to how Everything changes. From body language to intonation of Voice to mannerisms. She's a Woman at her Core, and I didn't put her there, or Practice any of it.

So I know a Lot about Unreality, and my experience is like... Trans-adjacent. I'll disassociate randomly, or in Waves and after doing a quick systems check, realize I'm Her inside.

And that can make Reality, what you've Done, what you've accomplished, and your entire Worldview seem like a weird fever dream that went on for fifteen years, until all of a sudden you snap back to That original schema.

It's not unusual to go through severe disassociation when you're transitioning. You're un-learning an entire way of being, peeling apart Traumas and past experiences and trying to make sense of your role in a world that doesn't have any social structures to Provide a place for you.
Some of my friends can't actually remember their lives pre-transition except as snippets of disjointed dreams, and it's been scary as hell for them. Others have had their pre-transition personality come back as a headmate or an intrusive personality system.

You're not alone, you're just existing in a Real world that's gone somewhat Insane.

@Mottie unreality is a Thing, especially under those circumstances. I suffer from it a Lot, and it's extremely distressing.

But it's because the real world has been slipping away bit by bit. More and more of our lives exist in, and Serve a virtual spirit realm.

And Reality has been Pilfered bit by bit over the last three decades as the Boomers decided they weren't interested in Real Life anymore, because reality Got Away From Them.