Cabinet Derg @Motodrachen@awoo.space

@clipclopboom@snouts.online I like reading it. I read @budgiebin@snouts.online 's cards last night and it same up the same way. "Shit sucks alright"

None Gender with left hornt

@Kaffe@chitter.xyz That's @budgiebin@snouts.online favorite birb, Curley

@Kaffe@chitter.xyz yes.

@Kaffe@chitter.xyz

Playing some Elite: Dangerous if anyone wants to fly with me!

Sitting here feeling physically uncomfortable because I need to get railed hard in a vagina that I Don't Actually Have.

This would be halfway normal dysphoria if it didn't keep popping up strictly when I'm in a Male headspace. >_<

@wntrdrgn@snouts.online Need a proper beak to smooch another beaky person.

@Galuade@snouts.online I mean, like, I had to stop in a Panic and bring her back up because Sara didn't know what having a Dick felt like.

Now I'm Really careful with that stuff. I'm used to trying to hack a Data Dog with some of the best psychic defenses I've ever bumped up against, I accidentally steamrolled the Woodrats.

I mean I can Do all the lewd stuff, but you might wake up with your Dysphoria supercharged because you spent a good eight hours totally convinced you were a Pretty Girl. And I mean Totally.

@Galuade@snouts.online Yah, last time I did anything Naughty while someone was under (At their request) it very nearly ended badly. Then again, I was hauling their headmate up to the surface, and she'd never fronted before.

@Kabit Jazz Solo Polyamory: Having a big house party and everyone wakes up the next day having discovered much about themselves and their sexuality, But At What Cost?

@Galuade@snouts.online Okay, but then we're having a sit down and doing some personal inventory work, some meditative practices, and I'm gonna ask you about your relationship with your Mom and maybe read your Tarot too, while you're suggestible.
No point in going to all that effort if I'm not gonna tidy up for you while I'm in there.

@clipclopboom@snouts.online Thanks. I hadn't really Realized how bad I was hurting.

And yeah, I'm actually excited about having my health back, and a possibility to move on and start again.

That kinda pain though, It'll take all the fight right outta you. I seriously thought I was dying for a while there in september and october. I can really understand my multiple system stuff a Lot better, since I was essentially in a disassociative state nonstop for a year.

And yeah. I'm gonna ruin his business for this. It won't take much, and I'm gonna go after him for pain and suffering. I wanna make that fucker have to sell his damn Benz.

So, I need to talk about this, because I'm just now realizing (Two months after quitting) that I'm not chronically ill anymore.

When I was working at my last job, I had to call out midweek, every other week it seemed. I was in Extreme pain from my GI tract (The whole thing, one end to the other), bleeding internally, and my multiple systems stuff came to an undeniable state early in the year.

As time went on, and spring came, I got better, and then Worse when we had to close the bay doors and couldn't get constant fresh air.

I'd be suffering panic attacks so constantly that I no longer had a base state. I was in pain all the time, and couldn't digest food.
I'd be throwing up mucous every morning. I had a full blown ulcer, and I'd be going to the bathroom ten times a day, half the times were Emergencies.

I lost around 30lbs working there because I'd have to eat Trail Mix, I was so afraid of any other food making my life miserable. I was taking PPI medication twice a day and maybe put down four or five extra strength antacids on top of that. After a while, my stomach acid was so suppressed that I couldn't actually Digest food.

And my boss was Convinced that I was either Faking it or an Alcoholic. He told me he didn't believe in getting sick. He did Nothing when I'd brought up air quality concerns, and when the temps started getting up to Heat Exhaustion levels during the summer, he bought some Residential air conditioning units and had us build a 2x4 and plywood frame to mount them in one of the bay doors, and some $15 pedestal fans.

Now that I'm no longer exposed to that environment every day, I've managed to recover, and I'm not just suffering every waking moment. I can think about Food as something to look forward to, not something that I have to endure so I can keep living.

I'm still dealing with some of the psychological issues that came from being gaslit about how much I was suffering, and beating myself up over not being able to Work. But I haven't had a bad breakdown, or unstable emotions since I left. I haven't been inflamed, I haven't had any ulcer bleeding, and I haven't had the coughing fits I was suffering from.

He's getting OSHA and the BBB thrown at him. I'm gonna get one of those attack dog lawyers to make his life just as miserable as I was over 2018. I thought I had Cancer, or Crohns, or something I was gonna have to live with the rest of my life, and I wasn't able to see much point in Living, if I was just going to hurt that bad, All The Time.