Cabinet Derg @Motodrachen@awoo.space

Hey.

Yeah, you.

Remember that every day is holy, or none of them are.

That all ground is sacred, or none of it is.

That every moment is a chance to smile, to love, to say "Yes" to someone or something. Even if it's just...

Yes. You're trying. You're doing well. Keep going.

And there's nobody who hates autistic people like an undiagnosed autistic person.
So all this shit kinda stacked up for me.
Oh, and the whole Three Nipples thing marking me as a Witch.
So I didn't wanna admit I was a Changeling too. Not a good time, the early '00s.

Of course ~Now~ all y'all are Clamoring for the Faerie Godmother who abused the Crap out of me as a Kid and almost ruined my marriage. o_o

And when some of these kids ended up brilliant musicians and stage performers and started dressing up in Women's clothes and so forth, well, Duh, the damn Elves got them as a kid, remember? Gave the boy a big drink of their milk and honey and made him a Changeling.

Oh, hey, wait, that sounds an awful lot like autism to me. Lot less common before we started Vaping Lead as a society as a fun social experiment in the 40s-70s.

So, All this while I'd see other autistic transgirls and get Really bugged out. Like... Are they to be trusted, are they doing what the Fae in Their head is telling them?

Do They Know?

Of course later I found out that the Changelings in faerie folklore were based on kids who would suddenly stop talking or develop amazing skills and talents as small children, and it was chalked up to having been snatched up by the Fair Folk and Changed.

But I grew up knowing how to deal with demonic possession and stuff from the inside out.
Tied her to a St. Andrews cross, and cut the rot out of her belly with a kitchen knife on a hilltop in the pouring rain.

And you know what? That stubborn bitch Lived, got better from her sickness, and she's actually someone I Trust now.
Got Magic problems? Get Magic Solutions.

So it was a big game of "Don't give in to the Sidhe in you, she's wicked and passionate and gluttonous... And a damn Faerie beside" from 16-21 or so. And with Damn Good Reason.

Thing is, I got kicked out of the magic forest in 2010.
In 2016 she came Back. This spring she got so Agitated by events she broke thru, took over, and nearly ruined my damn Life.
Just like I knew she would.

And I was a stupid teenager raised on Weird Religion. Peace and Love, the Real kind straight outta the 60s, instead of Hate and Bigotry.
But that Fae in my head was a Bitch, and made my life Miserable. Wonderful, sure, but miserable too.

So I had a weird internal relationship with accepting feminine stuff for my own. Not because the Men in my life would disown me, but because it was the stuff Kerithe wanted.

For a long time I was confused as hell by the Trans community, because I'd been Tormented by a Faerie spirit in my early teens and 20s.
Hear me out, I grew up in a place where Magic was Real and the Divine Feminine was everywhere to the point that it didn't need any sort of official recognition.
And I thought that there were girls who were playing at being girls, and girls who were like me, and were Possessed, and had to Choose.

I'd like to inform you all that @budgiebin@snouts.online feels like she failed at Meatloaf.
No.
She achieved something Greater.

She synthesized a McRib Loaf.

I feel totally gross going straight for "Shi" as pronoun and having to retype a text because as much as that's how I'm feeling right now, the last time I used that pronoun in the first person was murry purry Yiff chats a decade ago.

Smokes weed: Ah yes, I can sleep and have a full 8 hours rest in one go!
Doesn't smoke weed: Oh GoD i caN't stOp tHe AnXIEty PleaSE lEtMeGoTosleeP Aurgh! *Proceeds to hallucinate wildly in 2 hour spurts and awakes in a miserable heap, unable to tell reality from dreams*

So very non-binary that all the cutters I use are three flute.
Not two flute
Not four flute
Three

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only Witch who can lay magic on Steel.
And it's my specialty. Flower magic and love magic are Wonderful, but steel magic pays for both.

You know, I'd used my "talking to boomers" voice as my primary for years out of a kind of abuse reaction, and hadn't realized there was another pattern lurking for years.

Only issue is lapsing into Her when my boss is around

That "Chaging your gender fluid" joke but like unironically.

I did a Tarot reading a week or so ago and an important numerology and symbolic meaning jumped out at me.
And I followed where it lead and found Something of what I am.

Because of how I was raised and what I've been through, I'm in a position to help guide and support younger queer people through their quest for identity, especially regarding the Spiritual aspects of the Feminine.
I'm the Witch. I exist outside the social order by definition.