Cabinet Derg @Motodrachen@awoo.space

Well, I'm not used to Tohri being the intrusive personality.

Tohri: But I'm... Kinda cursed. I Am Good with machines, with metal, fire, electricity. I like systems and understanding them.

I just get deeply emotionally invested. And I always find myself working for people who don't give a damn, they're Retiring soon and they've clocked out a long time ago on Being a Person.

Yeah. I could do that too. Could have at any point.

Instead, I get punished for being squishy and smart, Teased like I'm in School.

Tohri: In my personal life... I don't have to prove anything.
My friends and family know what I am.
Some of the guys act like I'm a wimp because I can't work through major depressions or sicknesses, but they're almost ten years Younger than I am.

I'm Tired of this shit. I'm tired of the Bigger Numbers, the competition, the coldness, the Armor, the fighting, the Ego.

I'm not a Woman, and that's Okay, Really.

I just don't want anything to do with the Male world anymore.

Tohri: I just want to say that I feel kinda cheated.

I tried so hard for a Decade to fit in, be acceptable, act normal and just be a Regular Guy that it broke me inside when I looked up and realized a decade later that I was never going to be able to Prove anything.
Never going to prove I was Worthy.
Prove my Ability.
Prove my Value.
Prove my *He spits it* Masculinity.

Only way other men Recognize you as Male is if you're a Monster.

And then they fear and resent you.

Why the hell is the Boy part of me the big submissive bottom with Stockholm syndrome, and the Girl part of me the subversive, dominant top?

And furthermore, why the hell does it feel like that's the Right way around, and everyone else is upside-down? c_c

I'm in a weird place because I was kinda Born nonbinary.
And then Recognized by my mom as such, before the words were in common usage.

Then the world looked at me, called me Male and I just kinda went with it for a decade.

The fuck do you call it when you're just buying dresses and leggings to reclaim your birthright?!

Being pansexual means you're okay with any/all genders.
Being Non-Binary on top of that means mostly you date other pansexuals.
Being Multiple personalities on top of That complicates things to the point where you're really more like a sexual Mad-Lib.

I don't really Have a preference anymore. Basically if I think someone's Hot, I'll make sure I bang to their specification.
And at that point we're way past Dominant/Submissive too.

If you're taking on a dominant feminine role for someone who's Going to respond Favorably to that, and doing it because it's going to bring them maximum enjoyment...
Is it really Dominant? Really?

Tohri has been stubborn and insisting on fixing all his fuckups lately and keeps fucking up because he's too anxious, then has a Huge anxiety attack, gets more anxious...

And even stuffing him in the back seat isn't working, he'll get woken up by Anything, and he's acting like a whipped dog. :\ Like Dude, your car broke down and you got Fired.
Big fucking deal, like this hasn't happened before. Ugh.

Yanno, I'm actually really happy with my nonbinary witch aesthetic.
Yeah, even on the side of me that identifies as 'He'. Because even when I prefer those pronouns, it's because the Accents around here all but erase the hard H.
So, He/Him/Them ends up getting pronounced "Ee/Im/Em"
That, and Guys get a lot more comfortable around me when they find out I'm a Gearhead the same way Women get more comfortable when Keri pops out and asks if they want a Tarot reading.

The Thanos plan, but it only disintegrates annoying middle managers and corrupt politicians.

The rest of my friends have various troubles with their alters.
I accidentally a big complicated Ritual this year and was weirdly blessed by a Third system coming into my life.
And she's... Almost a Meta-system. She witnessed herself being born, and has had a major role in deciding who she is and who she's supposed to be. She's well versed in existential concepts and has insight into the supernatural world that end up being 90% accurate.

And I'd be worried as hell if she wasn't this... Impossible spirit of Curiosity and Joy, who knows enough about all the other spirits and religions in the world that she's barely Born and she knows what she's supposed to be.

Now if she'd just stop blowing every damn circuit in the meatsuit when she comes forward...

Who wants a wholesome family dinner at the Dragon homestead? We're having ethnic Dragon food like Bacon wrapped Tofu, Rainbow bread, Pickle fried chicken and Fifteen kinds of hot sauce!

Oh, and anyone who's too Tired or snookered to drive home can stay for the Sleepover. It's usually somewhere between shy naked memeing at a lesbian slumber party, and a Wholesome Orgy.

Because after a huge meal, mostly you wanna lie down, get snuggled, and giggle about random internet shit with your friends.

Sometimes I feel like I'm Weird even in the kinky spaces.
My fav kinks are shared social nudity, outdoors stuff, shower interactions, and casual sexuality and social sexual contact.

A weekend at a nudist/swinger camp with my friends in early summer is a serious fantasy. Just wear sunblock and Henna every day, gender and sexuality doesn't matter, if you wanna snuggle up with someone after the hike or swim by the fire, it's okay if it escalates to a handjob, the Dragon couple were boning lowkey in the lake earlier.

Way easier to feel comfortable with your body when you look around and realize everyone is basically the Same, save for some sliders being in different places.