-> @oneironott@vulpine.club @Oneironott@awoo.space

food helpssss

I don’t have therapy until Monday
I’ve barely been able to get out of bed today.
Despite all the looming things i need to do
I feel completely incapable of doing them
I feel… degenerated. Maybe just realizing how incapable i always was.
I’ll push to do the basics.
Food. Water. *sigh*
I am on thinner ice than i have been for quite some time, and i’m not sure when or if i’ll get out of this.
Which just makes me feel guiltier.

I had a dream i was on a spaceship and i drank a pabst????? Thats all i remember?

Squeaky pooltoy friends

Everything is loud x.x

I can be neuroatypical and worthy
I can be traumatized and worthy.
I can be disabled and worthy.

I feel simultaneously magical, embowered, and amazing and cracked, struggling, and crawling.
I feel perhaps that the truth is in both, and that these are not states that fight with each other for supremacy. In fact, there is great overlap. I am neuroatypical and have experienced great trauma, which both hinders my life in some parts and exalts others.

Something i keep remembering is that I’m treating myself better than my parents ever did.
That thought helps

Gods, I want to be a community toy more than I am often willing to admit >.>' a toy of our... lovely weird pack >.>'''

big..... animal people......

I like......big

#nocontexttheatre

I'm here
I'm queer
I'm slowly becoming a fucktoy for my extended polycule and I love it

L-look I'm not going to say I was made -just- to be bred, but it WAS a factor in design specifications

I-I'm going to slowly become a heck of a fucktoy aren't I ^^'

this is good

I've always wanted this *tailswish*

Im so gay for tails jfc

Good afternoon!
I am a TOY!

If you've ever experience what it's like to just be completely moved to -tears- by the beauty of something, that is how I felt when I first say myself in my 'fursona'. I was ashamed of that for a long, long time.

But the point is that I was -INFATUATED- with it. it was beautiful to me on a level that, back then, was kinda made fun of? "Lifestylers"
Lifestylers, of course, until the lot of us grew up, the world grew darker and pushed us to admit that we LOVED this life. We wanted it.
and it's okay. It's an okay thing to love. It's an okay thing to feel your heart -pounding- at the indulgence of it all. To desire it.

Furry seemed personal to me long before I could articulate why and long before I realized I was Otherkin/Therian/Nonhuman. I vaguely remember as a kid just... staring at certain pieces of art and just soaking in every inch... How the fur set and how tails could be expressive.
I was infatuated. I was in love, and it quickly manifested into desire, a deep wanting. longing. saudade, and sometimes dysphoria.