Regarding that last boost, I've been that asshole. I've hated people online because they thought something different than me. I've continued using hurtful language that people told me was hurtful, because I didn't mean it "in that way". I've been a heckuva jerk.
So, I always want to see people swing back from being that jerkbag. But I do need to see that behavior start to change before welcoming them in. It's not easy, but it is worth it.