Roady @Roady_Dragonfae@awoo.space

https://awoo.space/media/N0knHjp8PlXOZ_kTa-I

Over the last two years, I learned the hard way about being too revealing about my goals and my deepest ambitions. Lest they be torn down by negative forces or exploited by a gutless opportunist.

Pursuing less drama in my life means being more mindful of what ambitions I share, and who I share it with. After all, a good magician never reveals his secrets.

Getting a HUGE buzz off of Juno Reactor right now. Woohoo!

Since I started taking iodine and working on lowering the amount of fluoride in my system, I'm starting to feel much clearer. In conjunction with pot and lobelia, my head is nowhere near as foggy as it used to be, and my obsessive compulsive thoughts are diminishing rapidly.

Day seven without a cigarette. I can't believe I made it this far. I snapped at a coworker, cried on some occasions, sick and fucking tired of waiting for my promotion, and my saving grace has been coffee and chocolate. Still struggling with this emotional rollercoaster. But, I'm hanging on tight.

As I continue to struggle with nicotine withdrawal, a part of me just wants to disappear to the mountains. Get as far away from people as I can and deal with these negative emotions in solitude. Maybe with a bag of mushrooms or other obtainable psychedelics.

Day two with no cigarettes at all, and I'm reminded that quitting smoking is the closest a guy can come to experiencing PMS. Mood swings, hot flashes, water retention, walking an emotional tight rope. Sans menstrual bleeding.

You can't tame a wild animal. You can't domesticate a wild animal. You can't take possession of a wild animal. Back one into a corner, you'll only get bit. And that's no fault of the animal.

All my life, I've been approached by people. Folks who obsessed over me, desired to be my soul mate. And time again, rejecting them has made these people do strange things and act out in ways that I've found unsettling.

I know most certainly, that if I am to find a soul mate, I will be the one to approach. With all the respect I can muster. If I'm rejected, I'll accept it gracefully. For they are an individual who's boundaries are to be acknowledged.

To compare... Moustache vs No moustache. https://awoo.space/media/Ma3V54UJrrvhuysHXEQ https://awoo.space/media/keJFxokUjU9Y6XwYsWc

In the back of my mind there's always a calling out to me. The little cabin, out in the middle of the woods back in Canyon Creek, Montana. My oldest memories are spending my time frolicking in the woods and getting serious air on the homemade swing...

A part of me still harkens back to those days long past, and I hope I can relive them in a cabin of my own one day...

I often wonder if I'm subconsciously manipulating my position in time and space so I'm always the one who grabs the most calls at work. In all seriousness, the latter is that I'm putting in more effort than my coworkers, but it's fun to ponder the former. xP

I feel like I should start lowering my caloric intake and maybe go back to Paleo. Especially if I'm moving to a position with way less physical activity than my current job.

Next week I should be hearing about finally moving up to that truck driver position. The upside is less physical activity, because my biggest problem working in the yard is that I burn through calories a bit too well. It's a constant, gnawing hunger that drives me crazy. Because I eat, eat, eat, and I never feel satisfied. Bleeeh...

I look forward to the weekend, where I can disappear to the mountains and frolic around as a big gay dragonfae in his natural habitat. Something tells me I'm in dire need of it.

Update: Whew! Looks like she was just misfiring and needed a tune up.

As we continue forward in our revolution, we need an example of a new system to follow. In this case, I can't think of anything better than what's currently happening in Rojava. A form of anarcho communism that goes by the name of Democratic Confederalism. Horizontal, communal, and places emphasis entirely on female leadership.

Given its growing popularity among antifascists in the northwest, Kurdistan would most likely be Cascadia's closest ally.