Roady @Roady_Dragonfae@awoo.space

I have an obsession with utilitarian items. I can never have enough pockets on me. Cargo pants, hunting jackets, belt bags. Anything I do to carry everything I need on my person for any situation.

The only reason I would ever go to Idaho is to visit the coastal disjunct rainforest. Nothing else...

Okay, maybe Silverwood as well. But That's about it.

No caffeine, no food since this morning, and stuck alone in congested I-5 traffic for two hours... Perfect opportunity to go crazy and scream at the top of my lungs! Passers by probably thought I was a raving lunatic, but it didn't fucking matter! I feel sooo much better.

Now to reward myself with the first meal I've had since those cashews and cookies for breakfast.

For anyone who's interested in checking out the Cascadia Arts Collective aka Art Social Society aka Compound of Synergic Reverence, I started a chat for organizing events and keeping people up to date with the biweekly barbecues!

https://t.me/joinchat/BagHukbC5UWW1Fzwb4ujbA

While not as delusional, dissociative, and discombobulating as sugar withdrawal, it does leave me feeling not entirely there. My ability to stay present is stifled and I feel like I'm being rude and inconsiderate at times... I apologize in advance for any behaviors that may ensue.

Actually, that's the perfect name for this kind of ailment. Caffienated Crotch Syndrome!

When ypur taint starts spasming to the point where jacking off is painful, it's time to quit coffee.

I know what part of my problem was. I'm stagnating. Time to make plans to do cool stuff!

Regardless, I gotta set aside some time tomorrow to walk through Schmitz park. Haven't been through a dense forest in a long time.

I've noticed that I'm becoming increasingly foggy, antisocial, and even depressed on some occasions. I wonder if low physical activity /caloric intake is causing my dopamine to crash.

I'm thinking I should work on quitting caffeine before sugar. I'm starting to get muscle spasms where I normally wouldn't, and it's miserable.

I don't understand why it's so stigmatized. I feel the most like myself when I'm alone. Only under the condition that I be out in nature. So far, my longest standing relationship is with the forest.

The forest doesn't judge, the forest doesn't try to modify my behavior, the forest doesn't have insecurities that are projected onto me. I accept the forest, the forest accepts me. Wild and free, as I'm meant to be.

Be mindful that there are some things hiding deep down that food, and in particular sugar, served as a cover up for. Make sure you're isolated. Preferably in nature. Because the worst in you will come out. In the midst of purging it, you may unintentionally hurt people you care about. Confusion and chaos will boil up and try to wreck your life. That's why solitude is so important here. Only you will fully understand what's going on with, well, you.

Alcohol is always reciting the lyrics to Master of Puppets. All I gotta say is fuck you. There are no strings on me. You'll no longer twist my mind and smash my dreams. I'm no longer blinded by you, and now I can see perfectly clear. No one is my master, and I can see now that YOU are the one calling my name. Because without no one to control, you're just a pathetic little demon trapped in a bottle.

On the positive side of things. My wings hath cometh! https://awoo.space/media/Mp-IJrxpgxhjpAr2Usw

Sorry. I just don't have the spoons to deal with this right now. I can't wait to go camping when this month of horror is all done with.

Last week: Oh. It'll be done by the end of this week.

Weekend: Oh, it'll be done Tuesday afternoon.

Tuesday: Who told you that? It should be done tomorrow.

Today: We'll have it done tomorrow morning.

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! WOULD YOU STOP YANKING MY CHAIN YOU PRICKHEADED SHITBAGS! FUUUUUCK! I JUST WANT MY GOD DAMN VEHICLE/HOUSE BACK FOR FUCK SAKES!

Every day I keep dealing with past regrets. Things I wish I could have done differently, but I fell into making unconscious acts.

I feel too paralyzed to socialize. Just an instinctive feeling to stay away from everyone and continue to work my way through it. Some of these horrible feelings and reactions that crop up, especially when my blood sugar is low... Only the solitude of nature can help me through it. I can't wait to have my van back so I can do just that.

Right wing nutjobs are holding a "March 4 Trump" on March 4th. Who wants to head down south and scream at fascists?

https://awoo.space/media/fuR8K15eoixrRfpqdGU