Roady @Roady_Dragonfae@awoo.space

Note, the ritual studs I was wearing up in the mountains weren't barbells, so it's nice to find something close to that.

Finally got my claws on some bigger, juicier birthstone studs at 14 gauge. Hoping to stretch to an 10g eventually. 8g at the most.

When I was 13, I had really looooong hair. And given I barely had peach fuzz, there were multiple times I was mistaken for a girl. At the time I was ashamed of it, but now I find it amusing.

When your dopamine and serotonin levels plummet, there is a certain uneasiness that comes with facing the darkest corners for yourself. Emotional intelligence runs empty and self control has little bearing on the kind of demons that will be faced.

It's about confronting the repressed notion that you are capable of the most heinous and horrible deeds imaginable. Coming out on the end thankful that this impulsive, egotistical beast is not who you truly are.

I think I now know why I'm so drawn to plaid...

Scales...

It looks like scales!

I'm starting to realize that I only needed to go on keto for a particular period. Just long enough to face the kind of demons I needed to face before reintroducing carbohydrates. This time at a more reasonable portion size. Sometimes a vice can be as benign as a slice of cake.

Wellp. Here we go again. Intake manifold gasket blew on my new engine and once again I'm without a vehicle. Less than five days before I have to appear in court... They better get it fixed asap...

But I'm a dirty hippie, so I use a stick. xP

"Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing."

-Helen Keller

I'm starting to fall into the groove of the drum whenever it's time to journey. While visuals are still a faint shade of blue, I'm definitely more in tune with underlying voices and sounds.

I hope in the future I can bring people along with me. Given the snow amd the closure of Campbell Tree Grove until late May, that message is undoubtedly clear.

Overall, I had an absolutely wonderful time getting the hell out of Seattle for a few days. The solitude was a perfect space to reclaim lost parts of myself and clear off the urban residue that's gummed up my wings.

Like any addictive substance, it loses its effectiveness over time and thus the dose is increased until the user is destroyed. Crashing and burning. A self sabotaging vice like any other.

A siren that beckons to give up hope. To succumb to the demons that make life miserable instead of looking for productive ways to work through it all.

While one must not be naive, or overly trusting, approaches can be made that don't rely on such attitudes as a crutch.

If anything, the one takeaway is I can always come back. The forest isn't going away. Once more of the snow melts and it's not as cold and wet, I can fully complete what I wanted to out there.

While I didn't complete everything I wished to do out on the mountain, having the opportunity to spend time in total isolation was absolutely blissful. That alone helped me shed my frustration like an old layer of skin.

Just got to Aberdeen... Birthplace of Kurt Cobain. "Come as you are." And that I shall.

Moclips first,
To catch a burst,
Of the tidal forces,
Doing their work,

Then off I go,
Into the great unknown,
To be alone,
With no phone.

I'm ready for one fantastic adventure.

Hey everyone! I should make mention that I'm officially an admin on a new mastodon instance called bioregional.cascadiafree.space.

Given my position as an admin, there's a possibility that I'll be shifting to there as my primary account to place focus on that. If you would like to follow me there, I go by @Drifter_Dragonfae@bioregional.cascadiafree.space

Cheers!

One thing I look forward to this weekend is conducting an incredibly thorough banishing ritual with the help of ancient wisdom from the titanic-scale trees out in the Olympic rainforest.

I need to wipe the slate totally clean and fill the vacuum with all the light, love, and positive energy that can be.

I come out of a situation not feeling like myself. Saying unconscious things to people, running my mouth off, and feeling like a jerk afterwards. I apologize after the fact... They say it's fine...But I'm left feeling dissociated and shaken.

I can't wait to go out to the forest tomorrow... Right now, I just want to ball up and cry.