Charlotte Finn @SkunkyLass@awoo.space

Hey folks!

I'm very grateful to this space over the last couple of years but I feel it's time to take the plunge and make my own one-person Mastodon instance, for a few reasons I won't bore people with.

I've already begun the transfer process, but if it leaves you behind, or if you want to follow for its own sake, check me out at @Charlotte

Thanks so much!

I was addicted; I accept that.

And I'm proud. Because I'm not anymore.

Except for the purposes self-promotion and doing a favor for a friend, I have not logged into my main Twitter for the past 90 days.

I didn't know them, but the passing of a longtime furry figure who was only five years older than me, has me taking stock.

I find myself asking how the hell I would even inform everyone of my passing, because I've worked so hard to keep the barrier up between Offline Me and Online Me. For good reason - me and my family would endure genuine difficulty if word got out that I pretend to be a skunk lady on the internet, and that's just general background radiation. A targeted harassment campaign would destroy lives.

But this, feels like the cost of that; never letting the two mix, means I can never fully let someone into my life, and in turn, when I leave this life, I run the risk of being an empty spot that people always wonder about but never can confirm.

I suppose I could charge a few people with the task of informing everyone of my passing, but... what a grim request.

Or I could find somebody to love, but what are the odds of that?

I just see younger people I know say stuff that's all-or-nothing, no room for any misinterpretation, and whenever I wind up thinking a similar thought I wind up mentally tacking on a dozen disclaimers based on things I've read and experiences I've had.

Like the meme that if you play a different gender in an RPG you are trans - it sure applied to me but I can't even really joke about it without having to go "okay but it doesn't mean you're trans, you could be NB, GQ or GNC, and you might be none of those things and the answer to that particular questioning might be 'no, I'm happy as I am.'" But younger people just seem to share that notion without hesitation.

I'm jealous, a little bit, because I know that they're probably hurting others by being so all-or-nothing, but my present mental state, I feel like every experience I have, I keep hurting myself.

Anyone else experience a phenomenon as they get older, where all their feelings and thoughts become so complex that none of them feel all the way happy any more?

I read comics I enjoy and I enjoy them and then I think about how I kind of hate one of the creators for something (usually a legitimate something, as in they did something crummy.) I get furry art commissioned and I am reminded of the person who, out of the blue, decided to hate my guts. I'll be enjoying something as simple as a video game and then something in the repetitive structure will dig up a memory and I am taken out of the moment by feeling bad. I'll talk with a longtime friend and then be reminded of an argument we had years ago.

It feels like trauma, but it's not just over stuff that should be traumatic, it's over minor stuff everyone else seems to be able to get over. Everything now just seems to unlock a cascade of memories that are all conflicting with each other and I have no pure emotions or experiences any more.

If you're down on No Way Home, you are super valid; I overall liked it, but I can see the stitches pretty easily. But people frequently complain about the weirdest shit with these things. Sandman's underwritten character is right there if you wanna moan.

I am discovering that many, many people are mad that Peter Parker made fun of the name Otto Octavius in No Way Home, which is a baffling thing to still be mad about a year later.

A) they already lampshaded Otto's goofy name in the movie he's been sucked out of via magic spell,

B) He's PETER PARKER. Making fun of the absurdity of supervillains has been his deal since the year dot.

https://cohost.org/ByCharlotteFinn/post/849325-letting-go-of-old-th