Sparrow 🐦 @Sparrow@awoo.space

Anyway, found this passage from a book about boundaries (ironically it's a super Christian book, and I am I no way Christian myself, but contains a solid psychological foundation). It's about how boundaries do (or don't) form from a childhood development standpoint, and it's very relatable for me.

Like "oh, that's what happened. Got it."

Also, I haven't yet bought this book about multiplicity, but a friend recommended it and I want to read it asap.

Talking with people on this website has been really helpful for me, because it's way less scary than saying any of this out loud, and (no offense) has fewer real world consequences than say, for example, talking to my mom might.

One of my main interests lately has been boundary development & its interplay with multiplicity.

(FTR: I don't have DID, but theory surrounding multiplicity gives me useful vocabulary to discuss my gender and identity issues)

So... Some background:

I've previously addressed my mental health issues (anxiety, depression, dissociation, gid) with a "bandaide" method: treat the symptoms, increase my toolset to cope.

This has definitely helped me become a higher functioning adult. But lately I've been wanting to address my core issues in terms of values, identity, cognitive distortions, and patterns of interacting with others.

(Cont)

Someday I would like to have a secure attachment style and a partner, but until then I'll enjoy being a good friend and my heated mattress.

And there's the tears. Refreshing, really.

Protip: Don't date me.

I'm a great friend, just don't date me.

Can we please stop making shows and movies about "brilliant" and "complicated" white male psychopaths while our cops regularly shoot and kill unarmed black people? Thanks.

@bentosmile

There are *so fucking many* shows out there about brilliant psychopaths, and ooh they're so interesting how do they tick?, I honestly can't even count them. Historically (Dexter, House, Deathnote) and currently (this show, Hannibal, etc).

Wow, this movie looks terrible.

Well, no, not completely terrible; I can appreciate dark, absurdist humor.

But on the other hand, I am *so sick* of mainstream TV's obsession with white (mainly cis het) male psychopaths and killers.

Can we please stop trying to understand these men, sympathize with them, and even worse, redeem them?

It's bordering on worship and it makes me sick.

/fin

@SuzanEraslan@anticapitalist.party

Yeah, totally!

And I think that's why I mention that I've been with very few cis men- generally speaking, I haven't had to worry as much about the threat of physical violence from my mainly fem-presenting partners (but there have been exceptions and I totally hear you there). For that reason I've been more concerned about hurting feelings than I have about the risk of violence.

Just woke up from a 5 hour nap, so yes I am living my best life, thank you.

@SuzanEraslan@anticapitalist.party

Good thread! Thanks for putting to words thoughts that have been bubbling in my mind lately.

I've personally only had a handful of sexual experiences with cis men, but I can totally relate to not speaking up when I'm unhappy because I don't want to hurt a partner's feelings. There's definitely some societal conditioning there that makes me value someone else's feelings over my own, and that's something I'm actively working to deprogram myself of.

@envgen

Ooh that's really cool! I actually work in spedu at my school, but it's an inclusive gen ed school.

@envgen

Lol GOOD.

P.S. Do you also work at an elementary school?

@selfcare

You're not my real dad

Can it be nap time? I am super ready for nap time.