Sparrow 🐦 @Sparrow@awoo.space

I honestly don't know if I should eat this shiitake mushroom jerky. It seems to have fungus growing on it. But it's also a fungus. So....

Had some friends over, and we made snowflakes. Because we're adorable.

Okay I'm going to try to go back to sleep, maybe the house will be empty when I wake up later and I can go pee then.

Are we ever going to have a Bay Area Masto Meetup?

O one of the guests my roommates has over is really cool and she's visiting from Japan for the holidays and I haven't seen her in forever.

But I'm also half awake and feeling vaguely feral.

Oh No my roommate invited guests over and I need to pee but I don't want to be Seen.

Also I was eavesdropping because they think I'm asleep, and my roommate misgendered me. She immediately caught herself and apologized, but she never slips up in front of me. :/ Merr.

My lovely friend Tavy got me this sweater, and it fills me with such gender euphoria. :3 I'mma happy bird.

Weezer is Dad Music, right?

My own dad has "Island In The Sun" set as his ringtone, so...

I'm not sure what I gave as my dream job for this security question, but we all know in reality my dream job is a crypto zoologist. Obviously.

Sorry Shane Co I'm not buying anyone a $900 necklace

They are playing silversun pickups at the cat cafe and I'm at peace.

Dude sitting next to me brought his house cat named Izzy to meet the new cat he and his girlfriend are thinking about adopting. Izzy is sitting next to me, too.

Tragically my unicorn fell off, so I bought a catrex to replace it. I'm considering hot gluing them in place now so they don't fall off again.

For those interested in naming their vaginas, may I recommend "Skagarag"?

Ya ever meet a cute girl and her asymmetrical haircut is tumbling akimbo from her beanie, and you just like wanna /be/ that beanie?

This applies to me too.

Sorry friends, I don't make the rules.

The webseries I'm watching features a full-service gas station, and like huh, I've never experienced one of those before.

Me: Man it's been great getting healthier, jogging and shit

Also me: Yes, I'll have nachos with a side of cheezits, please

Thought I was spacing out in a kinda cool way until I realized that no, my blood sugar had just dropped to below 70.

I realize you probably can't do the same shtik twice, but if I was ever in a band I'd definitely want to do percussion via tap dance

https://youtu.be/E7HjBr_QMXI