Veladynee Amaren @Veladynee@awoo.space

Mental status back to: 98% normal.

Root cause from doctor: Lack of REM sleep. I had apparently been going weeks without any and it was leading to increased anxiety and general malaise.

Solution: More sleep, better sleep, use melatonin and avoid constant cannabis use for sleep, as it apparently interrupts REM sleep in the amount I was using?

Just remember, even through the darkest bouts of anxiety and depression, it does end eventually, and all of your friends will be there, waiting for you, and guiding you through it the whole while.

It's okay to have bad hours, days, weeks. We all do, but we also understand.

So please, if you need, hide under my wing and I'll provide some protection from the biting, gnawing, gnashing teeth of our inner demons, until the sun rises and they disperse again. <3

And remember, you are loved.

Welp, completely back to normal. It's amazing how less sleep fucks me up so bad. I'm sorry for anyone who had to handle that or deal with it, but it should be okay now.

Time to talk to a doctor about sleep aids for really bad nights, and maybe some stronger anti-anxiety meds.

Took a sick day today in order to actually relax. Been good for me so far and catching up on lost sleep. Leaving me feeling mostly back to normal. ^^

Think I am finally winning over the anxiety again.

I have found myself enjoying working on Sundays.

It is a nice quiet day to actually get things done and since it starts my week it lets me ease in and feel more productive before chaos starts.

Plus it helps I don't need to start working until 1pm normally so I have enough time to ease myself into the day and process things before rawring at code.

And now majority of home cleaning done. @.-.@

Fighting with a bit of code tonight. Finally got the damned thing to work! It liiiives! *Cackles madly.*

Strange anxiety and random sense of dread. Unsure why. Absolutely obnoxious though.

I really wish I had a method to entirely cancel out these feelings that didn't involve needing copious amounts of weed.

I think it is still related to the time of year, especially with how bad last year was all in all, during this time as well.

Had an absolutely amazing vegan brownie with my coffee tonight, and now I am inspired to try to make them at home!