Pinned toot

Otherkin Ramble, Long, My beliefs 

Going to start being more open about this, since there's at least a couple of people who are curious. ^^

I'm otherkin, or dragonkin... draconic, whatever you want to use there. I normally just use dragonkin 'cause describes it in an easy enough way (with some bird complication... more on that later). For me, that means I believe that I myself am a dragon, or rather was at one point, and still am as far as my soul/spirit is concerned. I have a lot of spiritual beliefs and a few practices that I have for personal exploration which I can elaborate on in time! :D

Now obviously I am in a human body, as we get to the "Was" part. I believe in reincarnation and that I had a past life where I was as I am depicted in either art or as I've done for myself. I am Veladynee, a sea dragon, or as some friends have coined me over time a "overgrown/glorified dolphin." ^^;

My "awakening" (that still the term used?) was about.... 2002ish? when I began to kind of piece together memories and the like I had since I can remember. I had more ready access to the internet beforehand but never thought to look it up until I was just getting driven nuts by the sense of being out of place, wrong body, memories, and so on. A few searches and I tumbled across Draconic (dot) com and eventually its IRC chat and the rest became history there. (I'll write a full history of myself if people are interested!)

I took almost a decade break from a lot of the online communities... actually hell maybe it was a solid decade, simply due to how I was so busy with life and in turn the toxification/fragmentation of the old internet groups... and only really starting to nose myself back into communities proper as of the last few years.

So that's it in a nutshell! Stay tuned (or don't!) for more breakdowns of each individual segment and some spiritual rambles!

Temperature, VR, Deserts @.-.@ 

Note to self: Deserts are hot. Heat exhaustion is a real thing. VR generates a LOT of heat. I need to be more mindful of this. >.-.<;;;

Find yourself a partner that believes in you, and then turn around and believe in them back.

I woke up to a gigantic box full dragon stuff having arrived at my doorstep.

I have no clue who sent it, but I will find you and thank you!

Sometimes restoring old hardware just requires some patience, good practices, and a dash of magic.

Done by Yamiyo on FA.

When dragons move into a house, it /always/ becomes a dragon lair.

Dragon art and statues will be everywhere. And there is always at least one dragon shelf.

This is the way of dragons as roommates. *Nods.* bundle (boosts ok) 

anyway, this list of categories of games on is 75 pages long now, mostly thanks to how I've been hyperfocusing on building it for weeks. the list makes it real easy to find whatever particular cool stuff you want. enjoy the new section at the end: genres. add to the doc whatever's missing, editing's open to one and all.

Otherkin, Longing, Rambling, Dreams 

A dream last night left me with an extreme sense of longing and sadness due to the intensity of it, primarily in the shape of desiring my old body, or an approximation of it.

The dream itself was pretty mundane, it was simply me exploring my old home from last life. Everything was about where it should be from the oldest memories I have of it. Cool walls, a pool to get in and out of the little enclosed area, jars, a cool breeze. A gentle rain was coming through the 'window' of rocks, tapping along the floor and flowing out. A foggy view of the ocean beyond, with storms gathering in the distance, not unusual for the area. Everything had a smell, a texture, a sensation, to every touch. Even the light breeze against my earfins and wings. Everything had more intense colors, with some I'm not sure how to describe, similar to how I remember being able to see before. So much detail and stuff to unpack from that dream...

It made me realize how much I just miss certain things, even aspects of my old life. My body especially... and really hit the 'species dysphoria' button pretty hard, heh.

And I miss my old home. And I wish I could maybe one day reconstruct it here, even if it wouldn't be quite the same.

Politics, COVID, - 

I am continuing to try to find ways to distract myself from the massive anxiety I am feeling while my state continues to destroy itself with COVID.

Arizona has lost this battle and it just continues to get worse, with protesters against mandatory masks, Trump rally, and police engaging peaceful anti-Trump and BLM protesters with violence.

Stay safe, everyone... Especially fellow Arizonians in this mess. We'll get through it, but also fuck Trump, fuck the right entirely, and fuck the police.

autistic pride day (1/3) 

Today is Autistic Pride Day! If you're reading this and you're autistic,
you're ausome! And if you're not autistic, please spend some time listening
to our voices

a couple of reminders:

- autism is not a disease
- autism is not a disorder
- autism is a disability, because society is designed to meet (with varying success) the needs of the neuromajority first and foremost

US Pol, SCOTUS (++!!??) 

The Supreme Court of the United States just ruled that Federal discrimination laws protect LGBTQ+ employees.

I did NOT see that coming, but in this world? I'll take any good news.

MH, ~, Drug Mention 

I've noticed my depression has been flaring up the last week or so, and unsure why. It might be due to lack of Vitamin D, among other factors like lockdown and the world being on fire. But it is bothering me, and I am concerned about its effects on those around me, my mate included.

I had gotten so used to being.... Well, happy. Getting smacked down like this is deeply distressing and I may work on discussing it with my psychiatrist next time I see them..

Thankfully my OCD has mostly been kicked in the butt with the right meds! So small victories. ^^

I'm idly also considering picking up weed again as a solution for my depression since it worked well at keeping my general state happy with only using every few days.

COVID-19, Arizona, - 

Alarming trend in Arizona. Our inpatient bed usage is at 79% and ICU at 72% utilization.

We also had two days in a row with over 1k new cases with new cases continue to skyrocket due to community spread.

Governor seems content to ignore it and I am worried we are about to have a New York incident here.

mh, very -, mostly getting it out of my head 

Things keep changing. Patterns keep getting disrupted. World is on fire. Friends are acting irrationally about stupid shit and some are believing disinfo.

I am having trouble coping or managing, I am finding myself starting to spiral back into 2018 levels of anxiety like tonight.

I'm afraid of losing my relationship, my fiance, my life, my friends to viruses or police/military. Of losing everything. I don't know why. I don't know if its rational. I am having trouble believing when people tell me 'it will all be okay and everything is fine'.

I can just try to ignore it and hope they are right. I am scared, more so than I ever have been.

Pride, Art, ++++!!!! 

Happy Pride Month!

New art done by GoldenGriff!

US Politics 

Trump is trying to declare Antifa as a terrorist organization, which means anyone who is harboring those ideals could be labeled a terrorist and apprehended.

Which means he is trying to make opposing fascism illegal, like the fucking cowardly fascist he is.

All while he is tweeting up a storm while hiding in his bunker under the White House like the fucking coward he is.

Keep this storm brewing, and keep fighting for what's right, and let his presidency burn with the fury of all of those who have suffered under it.

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