Veladynee Amaren @Veladynee@awoo.space

Sweet. On Monday I'm officially protected from job discrimination based on possession or use of cannabis. Arizona protections for Medical Marijuana card holders, ahoy!

Fuck drug tests, seriously. Glad this protection exists.

Well since I'm now out here in desertland, I need to find some more snoots to boop locally, too. I just gotta figure out how to go about doin' thaaaaat

Bird doodle for practice today. Sans feathers cuz need to do a study on those...

Time for happies and art!

Done for Zougui on Draconity(dot)org! ^^

I hate not being able to help everyone... but sometimes I have to realize I can't help someone if they refuse to help themselves.

I used to be like that and now I realize the futility of that fight.

I ate too much fish, halp D:

Fuck this administration.

Of all the things that solved the majority of my problems, it was the one thing I was always warned about the 'dangers' of: Cannabis.

I was always warned about it being a gateway, that it was some big demon that would destroy my life and prevent me from being successful or happy. It would lead me to abusing it, becoming a hollow person. This is still repeated by the media, by the general population...

Hell, even my ex mate was concerned about me using it because I used to abuse alcohol years ago... And to an extent smoke weed every day when I was younger. To be fair, these concerns specifically were valid about using something as escapism, so I can't fault that...

But then I started to use it daily to cope with some emotional shit... and after about a month or two of that... I stopped. For a whole week. Then I started to feel my anxiety creeping back up and realized something. I had no anxiety when I was high... nor for a good while after I had quit. It slowly began to creep back, but not as intense as before.

So I began to experiment, trying small doses of THC:CBD 1:1's, and then my anxiety would just be gone for... 2 days?

Speed up to today, I just need to smoke or take an edible a couple of times a week, and my anxiety stays away entirely.

I'm now generally happy. I have been clothes shopping, I feel happy about my appearance. My mind feels clear, I can feel a wider range of emotions and overall... I feel better as a person. I'm -happy-. I still have moments, but we all do. that's part of having emotions... but overall I feel GOOD. My anxiety is just.... utterly gone. Mind you what I'm describing here is the majority of the time when I'm not high.

All it takes is a bit of cannabis for me here and there, and its done more to help me control the anxiety than the emotional deadening SSRIs I was put on (that we had to stop because of emotional deadening. x.-.x) with the worst side effect being I run out of snacks and have an otherwise fun night gaming and chatting with friends.

So is cannabis a magical cure all? No. But, for me, it fucking helped more than most things and I am going to be happy as fuck about that. Because holy shit I can actually LIVE life and not just live anxiety. It's fucking glorious.

Face

Woo, interview tomorrow! Here's hoping it goes well. ^^

Trying to sleep.

Phantom limbs: Mind if we wake up now? cool! Party time!

A bit related to my post way earlier... Been having trouble with memory a little bit. Some just seem to be fuzzy and not sure what's up. I'm wondering if its related to my nightly smoking or not, and debating if I should cut back or if it'll fix itself...