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life (neg) 

It feels like all people have for me is expectations about what I should do or need to be doing and I’m trying my best but nobody is willing to meet me half way. I just want to go to bed for a while.

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life (neg) 

My car has officially given up the ghost which I was half expecting but still sucks ass because car prices are so inflated RN. I let my dad know and he had to immediately call me and get on my case about everything and make it so much worse. I have a lot of work to finish this afternoon but I don’t know how to calm down. I’m really exhausted and I’m going to England at the end of the week and have a lot to do to be able to deal with that as well.

very stupid and sappy 

Whenever I look up where something is in London because of an article or whatever after I find the thing I scroll over to mike’s apartment and zoom in like I can convince the universe to give him a pat on the head for me as long as I know where he is at the moment

clothes shitposting 

@fineursine it’s called buffalo plaid not hamilton plaid tyvm

re: clothes shitposting 

I think at least some of this comes from the fact that I super love the "boyfriend" aesthetic (girls wearing their boyfriend's clothes) but I am too fat for it to really work with Mike because his shirts are just my regular size so I just buy my own lmao Orz

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re: clothes shitposting 

I am sexually attracted to men but also love men's slim fit t-shirts and carhartts, IDK either, it's fine

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clothes shitposting 

POV: clothes shopping when you have given up trying not to dress like a lesbian even though you are manifestly not a lesbian

me: finally going to the theater without worrying about contracting a deadly illness is cool, I wonder what the movies up now are about

directors: existential dread :) :) :)

a huge dub for me personally 

While the pandemic has been just total absolute hell in many ways at some point it will end and I’m going to spend as much of my life as physically possible with Mike and it’s going to rule and that’s keeping me going

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a huge dub for me personally 

forbes.com/sites/alexledsom/20

This is the announcement I’ve been waiting for for months so that’s very cool. Gonna book my next set of flights soon.

@anthracite As much as I like the aesthetics of bujo and have found it useful at times in my life it’s definitely not a productivity driver. The thing I’ve found it’s good at is helping me keep up a ‘streak’ - days I exercised or did my skincare or took vitamins or w/e. I think it’s better for self care checklist stuff than ‘work’ (I know, self care is work in its own way but it doesn’t generate income, lol). I wholly agree otherwise (I feel this way about trello).

anxiety, trauma 

One of the things I’ve been working on the past few weeks is to try to stop feeling anxious about hearing heavy footsteps. The mantra I came up with to try to move past it is ‘it’s not my problem’. Heavy footsteps don’t always mean someone is angry and even if they are angry they need to work it out on their own. I don’t need to hide from it and I’m also not responsible to engage.

pride, personal discomfort 

@fineursine the discourse is tiring but honestly I’m just sick of seeing the merch and how much of a personal promo opportunity it is for some people (it’s fair for them to use it that way, I just don’t want to be bombarded with it). I also just like, I’m never going to feel like having a tshirt with a tiger in bi pride colors or whatever makes me feel ‘valid’. Too many people always trip over themselves to invalidate it or make assumptions about me.

pride, personal discomfort 

Muting ‘pride’ on twitter will hopefully make the next month substantially less frustrating.

I’m so happy I found bisquick in the America section in sainsbury’s; I also made chocolate chip pancakes this weekend that Abe devoured. The benefit of an American girlfriend - American breakfast.

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‘Biscuits are good. I didn’t realize they’d be so... fluffy’

- Abe’s verdict

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To celebrate Memorial Day I introduced Abe to America’s greatest cultural achievement: the red lobster cheddar biscuit

Booked my next set of plane tickets to visit abe today (I’ll be fully vaccinated plus two weeks before I fly) and even w/ all the hoops I have to jump thru it feels awesome to know when I’m going to see him again

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