I have spent weeks (yes I know…) debating what my first post should be, what I felt was worthy to be seen by all of you. The immeasurably talented and artistic community that I thrive to be a part of. Today, however something clicked after reading so much hate on my Facebook page that was seeped in shaming and judgement over such a tragic topic as suicide. I can not fathom why we still shame victims and presume to understand what is going on is someone else’s world.

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Something pulling so strong that the only solution is to choose to let this life go.

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I read countless joking notes about how only the members of “whiney, emo bands” and not the “true, talented bands” would do such a thing in the wake of the passing of the lead singer of Linkin Park Chester on the birthday of his dear friend who took his life a few short months ago. Or how could someone so successful have such a hard time. How are they really be struggling, they have everything after-all. That someone is a coward or weak.

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This mind set I want to end. I crave to end. I have been shamed for being a victim, for not having the emotions that I “should” for not behaving or thinking the way that I “should”. There is no “should” there is only what you, the individual is or feels or thinks. Each person has their own individual truths and there can not be judgement for the uniqueness that is a population or a species.

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Death is sad. Suicide is sad. The loss of a life is sad. However it is not something that can be diminished as a joke, as an inconsequential occurrence. Value life and value individuals. (It really is not a revolutionary concept.) Suicide is not funny, it is not a joke, and sure as hell nothing to be taken lightly.

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I will be the first to say that I do NOT understand where an individual is at mentally, emotionally, spiritually to end their journey in life. I am NOT them. I have my own thoughts and understandings, experiences, and pain. I can empathize and I can do whatever I can to show you are not alone. I know not a soul here – but if you want or need – I am here for you.

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I will not judge you but offer an ear if you so desire. I only ask that if you need help - ask, seek, and fight. You have value and purpose, uniqueness that is as individual as you.

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And to Chester from Linkin Park, thank you for the memories and for getting me through high school, a particularly sour patch in my life. As a final gift, thank you for giving me the strength to finally post in a community that I was scared to show myself to. May you rest in peace, you will truly be missed.

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