@Lioness i worry less about "brain maturity" than agency and power imbalances. no matter how mature someone is or seems, ppl thru at least early 20s are much more vulnerable, just by the nature of having less experience navigating sexual spaces and less established support networks and so on

not always to equal degree, and context matters a lot (which u talk about in the thread). but i've dated within a relatively broad age range both younger and older and there's a definite singularity in the early 20s as ppl break off from their childhood communities and establish themselves. while that's happening they're vulnerable in ways they often don't recognize until years later, and i think very poorly of ppl who take that lightly. (context: i'm 37 now, so i _definitely_ cultivate some distance from the early-20s crowd at this point 😅 but i also kind of did when i was your age... whereas mid-20s and later i'm still cautious and don't tend to initiate, but it's more about individual context and experience.

anyway i think u have good thoughts and are right to be cautious, and it's also good to remember that this can be a personal boundary for u, like, u don't owe *anyone* sexual contact, and recognizing the huge social power imbalances at play and setting limits to mitigate the harm you can easily cause can be a healthy choice for urself as well. it isn't ageism the way e.g. "i wouldn't date trans ppl" is transphobia, it's much closer to "i wouldn't date a student" as a teacher... many students are willing to date their teachers, but it still fucks up community boundaries for everyone else nearby. age doesn't convey the same direct authority, but it's a power dynamic that's easy to abuse in similar ways.

the older i get and the more i see how fucked up age power dynamics are, the more protective i feel about younger ppl and position myself as like, a supportive / stabilizing older presence rather than a potential sexual partner :-P