fae @fae@awoo.space

nonmonogamy life (background: spouse and i had plans to hang out):

spouse: what're you doing on thursday?
me (flirtatious): hooking up with a cutie~
spouse (forgetful): oh! have fun!

@Lioness i worry less about "brain maturity" than agency and power imbalances. no matter how mature someone is or seems, ppl thru at least early 20s are much more vulnerable, just by the nature of having less experience navigating sexual spaces and less established support networks and so on

not always to equal degree, and context matters a lot (which u talk about in the thread). but i've dated within a relatively broad age range both younger and older and there's a definite singularity in the early 20s as ppl break off from their childhood communities and establish themselves. while that's happening they're vulnerable in ways they often don't recognize until years later, and i think very poorly of ppl who take that lightly. (context: i'm 37 now, so i _definitely_ cultivate some distance from the early-20s crowd at this point 😅 but i also kind of did when i was your age... whereas mid-20s and later i'm still cautious and don't tend to initiate, but it's more about individual context and experience.

anyway i think u have good thoughts and are right to be cautious, and it's also good to remember that this can be a personal boundary for u, like, u don't owe *anyone* sexual contact, and recognizing the huge social power imbalances at play and setting limits to mitigate the harm you can easily cause can be a healthy choice for urself as well. it isn't ageism the way e.g. "i wouldn't date trans ppl" is transphobia, it's much closer to "i wouldn't date a student" as a teacher... many students are willing to date their teachers, but it still fucks up community boundaries for everyone else nearby. age doesn't convey the same direct authority, but it's a power dynamic that's easy to abuse in similar ways.

the older i get and the more i see how fucked up age power dynamics are, the more protective i feel about younger ppl and position myself as like, a supportive / stabilizing older presence rather than a potential sexual partner :-P

@shoofle this makes a lot of sense. i was alive during the 80s but was too young and sheltered to really engage and i think the stylistic nostalgia it invokes in me very much hits the big-kid-coolness-i-don't-quite-understand buttons from young childhood

immediately after this was taken he peed on my desk

groove is a helper

@rey "crime" is an abstraction defined by the state to formalize its arbitrary exercise of power, not some sort of justice 😜

@ossifrage it's terrifying tbh. the last few years have seen so much de facto outlawing of sexualized content and by extension queer existence, as the media empires keep locking down tighter :-/

on the front step this morning c:

new song! gender euphoria https://soundcloud.com/faeraga/gender-euphoria

streaming now! writing songs in bitwig, with special guest tortellini the rat <3 http://twitch.tv/faeraga

gonna stream a bit more before bed, live now writing songs in bitwig ^^ http://twitch.tv/faeraga

14 days, eyes are starting to open c:

i am incredibly powerful