vent 

anyway. i want to emphatically repeat that i am happy to openly apologize to anyone i have actually wronged. but i have no interest in appeasing a mob of faceless strangers who love to play with my life.

i mean i talked with my ex over the course of a million long emails after he wrote his callout that started ruining my life, because i care about sorting out misunderstandings

but it drives me fucking nuts when people "punish" me over something i have NO idea bothered someone, or didn't do

vent 

it drives me up the goddamn wall! what kind of message are you sending if you just hold onto your hurt forever, without even trying to sort it out? especially with someone who would gladly do so if the chance arose?

but that never happens!

you'd THINK people would have approached me and eevee for months asking about what's really been up or happened, but no. that's never how it goes, even though that's the first tenet of maintaining a successfully peaceful community

vent 

you can't be secret about this shit. it leads to misunderstandings and confusion and hurts more people than need be hurt here. I wish more people focused on helping instead of hurting. I wish more people tried to understand where the other person was coming from without assuming the worst intentions all the fucking time

I keep thinking about how i used to be hated in IRC chats because I'd get mad at the guys in them for telling "women make sandwich" jokes and then that was that

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vent 

it's so hard to deal with not knowing why people are internalizing bad feelings about you. like I remember posting some art that made fun of sexism in video games and I got people being super rude at me, so I'd quip back, and of course the only thing you'd see is a crop of me quipping back at whoever had their weak take

which then becomes a bad feeling about me that can play into people's desire to absolve themselves of thinking about why they feel bad about a response they got

it's hard

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