cw trauma/abuse
the most jarring thing about abusive situations is it's sort of the "frog in hot water" thing where you don't really feel the full force of being in a traumatic or abusive dynamic until suddenly it hits you years later when a completely innocuous thing sends you into a panic attack
it's so fucking hard to explain this phenomenon to anyone who hasn't been through it
cw kf
I keep thinking about how KF's toxic ideals can't actually stand up to intense scrutiny or any light being shined on them like, at all
they want to destroy communities, but all they end up doing is making it clear who actually cares about compassion and understanding and who's all talk. and it's actually nice to feel like I can finally talk about the onslaught of abuse they perpetuate in trying to isolate victims by destroying their connections
on the cool side, it means we got a meat grinder so i can make burgers from scratch, which actually tastes better than ones with preground meat
vent
thinking about the phenomena where people reduce a complex story to really simple, punchy bites they can beat on, removing the humanity from their target
it makes it a really easy way to boost your social standing. "look. I'm not THIS. that's how you know I'm good, actually"
it's a frustrating thing because it's an easy mentality for people to slip into. so easy to dehumanize targets, and then nothing they say matters because "everyone agrees" they're not a real person anyway so who cares
vent
it's so hard to deal with not knowing why people are internalizing bad feelings about you. like I remember posting some art that made fun of sexism in video games and I got people being super rude at me, so I'd quip back, and of course the only thing you'd see is a crop of me quipping back at whoever had their weak take
which then becomes a bad feeling about me that can play into people's desire to absolve themselves of thinking about why they feel bad about a response they got
it's hard
vent
you can't be secret about this shit. it leads to misunderstandings and confusion and hurts more people than need be hurt here. I wish more people focused on helping instead of hurting. I wish more people tried to understand where the other person was coming from without assuming the worst intentions all the fucking time
I keep thinking about how i used to be hated in IRC chats because I'd get mad at the guys in them for telling "women make sandwich" jokes and then that was that
vent
it drives me up the goddamn wall! what kind of message are you sending if you just hold onto your hurt forever, without even trying to sort it out? especially with someone who would gladly do so if the chance arose?
but that never happens!
you'd THINK people would have approached me and eevee for months asking about what's really been up or happened, but no. that's never how it goes, even though that's the first tenet of maintaining a successfully peaceful community
vent
anyway. i want to emphatically repeat that i am happy to openly apologize to anyone i have actually wronged. but i have no interest in appeasing a mob of faceless strangers who love to play with my life.
i mean i talked with my ex over the course of a million long emails after he wrote his callout that started ruining my life, because i care about sorting out misunderstandings
but it drives me fucking nuts when people "punish" me over something i have NO idea bothered someone, or didn't do
cw snouts.online
if something legitimately happened, it drives me crazy that it's just some kind of "hush hush no one talk about it" thing. I don't know what the hell is going on. I wish anyone ever bothered talking to me personally before
frustrating. it's so frustrating. how the fuck can you ever expect someone to know what they did to hurt someone else if no one ever bothers discussing it with you, and everything else is just purely made up
the one, the only, uh... well, i do floraverse.com and forbiddenflora.com (nsfw) and that's about it. queer as fuck enby and relentlessly optimistic
no tolerance for harassment, hate, or mob thinking