depression, suicide, Medium article link
this is why I always, *always* say my depression is "in remission." it's still *there*. I can still feel the shape of it, lurking in my brain. my anti-depression moveset has evolved, I've gotten very good at fighting it off. I've retrained my brain, rewired my thought patterns, developed a strong suite of robust responses when I feel the poison touch my veins.
the rabbit has to be lucky every time. the fox only has to be lucky once.
depression, suicide, Medium article link
what keeps me from suicide:
* fear of failing at it
* fear of pain
* Spouse
* Nar
* the promise of snow
* birdwatching
* writing
* friends
* knowing how much it would devastate the people I love