Asexual Polyamory Complications [1/3]
I've been in relationships with a few people for years and years. We think of one another as family-- and most of those relationships started based in online erotic roleplay.
Now that I no longer enjoy erotic roleplay, most of those relationships fell apart, but a few didn't. ...but we don't spend much time together anymore.
I've changed so much that I don't even know what I want from those relationships anymore, but they're still very important to me.
Asexual Polyamory Complications [2/3]
I've been wanting to have a conversation with each of those folks to establish how we feel about one another, what to call our relationship and how we'd want to spend time together, alongside wants and needs/expectations, but that's a hard conversation to have with someone you've been in a romantic relationship with for, in some cases, over a decade!
How do you even start such a conversation? Every word has to be carefully considered to avoid causing harm.
Asexual Polyamory Complications [3/3]
I've written and re-written a starting point for that conversation a dozen times now. I have the start figured out, but providing structure for the conversation that follows is... hard.
It needs structure, I think- otherwise any way you start this conversation reads to me like a breakup message followed by an interrogation session.
The anxiety and fear around this conversation has been so intense that I've thus far failed to even try having it with anyone.
Asexual Polyamory Complications [3/3]
@mawr *coughcough* yeeaaaaahhhhh... I'm right there too, though I have to admit I've let my relationship with the Jackal taper off to silence. Pink still sends me cards--she sent an Xmas card letting me know her new address, and I'd like to keep in touch with her. both of them use Faceblargh pretty much exclusively for online social interactions, which is... unfortunate. :|
@green I think it'd be easier if everyone I want to have this conversation with was local, honestly. Keeping a conversation going online is hard when the parties involved generally resort to typefucking shortly after the greetings and updates have been shared. XD
@mawr LOL yeah I can see how that'd be a problem! XD
Asexual Polyamory Complications [3/3]
@mawr both of them being in California makes things easier in some ways; less immediate hard feelings, more "everybody's going on with their own lives, but still generally well-disposed to each other."