diet dr. nasty @pinkplasticwineglass@awoo.space

i'm making progress in articulating my thoughts & feelings and i'm using that to help my ptsd. i'm able to say that i need help even when i am not in a place to actually ask

i don't think i have the tools to properly self-assess "how well" i am doing in general

this was supposed to be like a positive self accepting internet post but i ended up just saying a bunch of mean things about myself again.

i'm an extremely flawed person who makes more mistakes than good choices but i think that's fine. actually. that's just life. sometimes you're a fucking idiot and you become less of an irredeemable dipshit as you get older via life experience

i should replay fea actually

@lyon when i was having the lesbian experience i had a crush on miriel.

@lyon the where?

@lyon ya laurent is good

@lyon shes a lesbian librarian and she almost walks off a cliff once. sully is a butch who loves horses and spears. theyre made for each other

i want to do friend things with people but i have trouble getting past seeing myself as unlikable and a general nuisance so i sit on my hands mostly

ive only played fire emblem awakening and jupiter has played like every fire emblem except awakening. what am i supposed to do about my miriel/sully shipping :(

(thinking about all might) i'm gay for an extremely long man

the artist glitchedpuppet/purplekecleon is also likely a pedophile and i dont really see people bringing this up. i found graphic child sexual abuse fanfiction of an adult woman raping a child intended as porn that they wrote when i was 14. i dont really see anyone bringing this up ever and it fucks me up actually. like dont write that or put it on the internet

i have neopolitan ice cream and it's good

"i think she expected us to make everything perfect" is word for word something my mother said. i guess? also like. accused me of being mad at her because she won't call me he/mortimer. which, i am, but that's not really unreasonable. if she's referring to medical transition i'm willing to figure it out myself if they give me the insurance information

i'm selfish for wanting them to switch to a new name & pronouns. here's $150 for no reason whatsoever

my mom insinuated that i have inflated expectations/a sense of entitlement to them like doing trans stuff for me. like as if i am being selfish? but they're giving me $150 to spend on our vacation when i've worked all summer. i don't understand this

i want to gently take yagi's hand & tell him that i will help him through things

i dont really know what im going to do with my life. i think my problem might be less related to academics and more to isolation and being around my parents but also i am not sure.

also my best friend when i was a dog. i feel scared when i think of them sometimes because we were killed very suddenly & violently and i don't know if they're ok. but i don't know if anyone i used to know is ok. i can only hope