diet dr. nasty @pinkplasticwineglass@awoo.space

i feel scared in general being around people that knew me irl when i was a child. bc i had a lot of behaviors that were very odd that i knew came from sexual trauma. and i dont like that people possibly remember me from this period of time

i really really want a cute guy to hold me and that's just normal

its human nature to want infinite boyfriends

@dragon i'm proud of you

i am gay

math requirements keep me from doing many college things

(realizes i need math for programming) oh yeah

@dragon i like the feeling of being completely invisible because i am just another person among many other and no one has any reason to look at me or think of me for more than a moment

@dragon when i go back i think i'll be able to talk to one clandestinely. so i have the information

i don't know anything about food preparation but i want to know how and it doesn't seem like a bad prospect

ive been considering going down a culinary route but taking some programming courses should also be useful

@dragon i know that not being full time, living off campus & therefore not paying board + meal plan and such reduces much of the cost but i am not sure how i can get a degree that way necessarily

@dragon cute..

@dragon thank you.. i have brought up perhaps taking fewer courses per semester but if i do that i will lose my scholarships which isn't ideal

i feel like. they would be fine with my shortcomings and proud of my achievements

i feel kind of moody today. about otherkin. i love the people i'm with but i still wish i could have them also you know. i have.. family, children, a friend that followed me from Place to Place, other important friends, a boyfriend and a husband also

idk tomorrow i'll hang out with biff and we'll get toni's

its not as if like.. my behaviors cant be frustrating or counterproductive and i am not beyond criticism. cant finish this post because i want to die

sorry my mom came in and grilled me about stuff and i feel like being dead

i want them to not be horrible self centered failures for once. i also want to not be a horrible self centered failure. cant have what you want all the time