diet dr. nasty @pinkplasticwineglass@awoo.space

however i do have like really bad emotional impermenance. everyone i know has told me multiple times without prompting from me that they really like me and think im a great psn. but im still here right now like. me..... have friends? everyone just thinks i'm a weird toy? the? way if we pee out butts?

i dont really think i have bpd, i used to think this but a lot of it disappeared when i accepted being multiple. sometimes youre 7 people at once

generally im like.. euuuggh. ew. when i think about myself. like i am pathetic and sad to the point of being nauseating. contour my personality

i think the term i was looking for earlier was waifish. it was also very much performing being a Child, But She Fucks for adults which was extremely bad

most friends i have made in the past years happened because another close friend introduced them to me. i am extremely shy and suspicious actually

i think that i will feel better about my own desirability after i do some hormoning. but i need to understand that sometimes people i am not already familiar with will like me without ulterior motives

i know what i want better now but there are lots of frightening people who appear normal

the fact that i was ever "there" was really horrifying to me and i still feel like a worthless freak for "letting" people use me and being a sexual degenerate at 13

ive erased like all archives of this so i dont think theres any direct evidence of this anyone besides kitlin has ever actually seen.

the only way i got any kind of positive attention at 13/14 was by acting out the role of. i dont know how to describe this. um. some kind of Dont Hurt Me Please useable dubcon fantasy

especially not cis gay men. i probably need to make more trans friends irl. like being a gay guy has felt like a great thing for me but i also feel like kind of a pathetic imitator

like my concept of how a relationship involving me would work is that i need to be as sexually appealing and emotionally low maintenance as possible because normal people wouldnt be attracted to me otherwise

theres like a million reasons this happens uh. im really worried that when i seek out relationships in the future im gonna get into bad ones even if i try not to

i forgot what i was going to say on here
im gay

i don't Hate Myself as like, an active state of mind often at all but in my actions & thoughts its clear i do. just am not sitting around often, thinking about how i should kill myself

i dont think i notice how bad my self esteem is because its. technically much better than it used to be, but still absolutely rock bottom

put a big dog in bnha and have them carry people across snow

this is less "oc idea' and more "i think someone else should do this." put a dog in bnha

i appreciate aizawa because i also am tired and home of sexual

i marry toshinori and we are both everyones dads now