more thoughts about selves
in a way, i'm dealing with the concept of self, too. everybody does. but let's focus on me, okay?
i have a lot of dreams that i remember. and quite a few dream selves. or maybe they're actually all the same person, but some dreams i see end up continuing their individual plotlines, splitting off into different dream selves.
but however many dream selves i have, or how little, they're all me. and i'm them.
do i have dream selves that i don't like? of course i do. there's one who as a child laughed as an evil witch turned their screaming mom into bones. there's another who shot soldiers with a rifle. and maybe, somewhere out there, there's a me who is a frightened person marooned on mars, around aliens who are kind of racist towards humans, with my family.
but you know what? all of these dream selves' actions kind of make sense to me. i mean, it's their world. they know what they're doing there.
re: more thoughts about selves
i've also kind of fought with myself in dreams! or to be more accurate, i've fought with my dream self for control of my actions and dreams, because i'm not actually controlling anything - i'm just watching as the dream progresses. my dream self is the one who's doing all the work.
a few times, when i came close to lucid dreaming, my dream self seized up, everything went dark and terrifying, and i woke up instantly.
lucid dreaming is really difficult when you think about the theory of dream selves actually being yous from different universes and oh god i screwed up my other lives im so sorry
