dark thoughts and media (~)
Something else that also plays into what I talked about yesterday:
I have a big fascination of media (music mostly) that struggles or dies.
Not as in genre or similar, but when music pieces fall apart or become slower and fainter, like a heart that stops.
Or music pieces where you can hear how broken they are, but they struggle to keep it together.
Just writing about those things makes me pretty emotional honestly.
dark thoughts and media (~)
Songs that come to my mind, that exhibit that behavior:
Rammstein - Spieluhr (lyrics are about death and being buried alive, meaning not so sure)
Placebo - Battle for the Sun 9https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCXRLrZpX-4)
Linkin Park - Breaking the habit (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2H4l9RpkwM Violence/suicide in video)
Linkin Park - Papercut (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjVkXlxsO8Q)
Linkin Park - A place for my Head (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3t2WkCudwfY)
dark thoughts and media (~)
And yeah, most of those songs are actually about death and mental illness, go figure.
I guess it's my own personal way to cope?
dark thoughts and media (~)
@maxinered I don't think it's as uncommon as you might expect. I do something similar, just not very often. I used to listen to Theater of Tragedy when I was down, but it stopped having much effect.
Since then I more listen to specific songs, but it's a rare thing, sometimes just because the mood strikes, other times when I am feeling bad. Two for instance is Bullet by Hollywood Undead and Skin by Sixx.A.M., the latter especially means a lot and always has me crying.
dark thoughts and media (~)
@ulvra I honestly barely cry at all.
When I want to cry, things get out of hand and my life slips away. Someone else is taking /my/ place and I really dislike that person.
Because that person is destruction. They're everything I don't want to be and they are not afraid to destroy us both.
dark thoughts and media (~)
@maxinered For the longest time I didn't either, I thought myself an emotionless husk, but then something happened and I was proven wrong. I cried, good tears and it was such a relief that I couldn't stop. I cried for hours.
Still though, HRT is what really brings the tears. You see those comics that make fun of it and they're really not wrong, even a stray thought can make me tear up.
dark thoughts and media (~)
@maxinered That's okay too. Do what you feel it is you need, when you need it.
dark thoughts and media (~)
@ulvra I mean, I have emotions.
I am happy. I am sad. I laugh. I feel good, I feel bad.
It's not that I don't have emotions, it's just... I don't want to cry, unless I am save enough to do so maybe.
I don't know if that'll ever happen again.