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bleh... today is really just a scream into the void (oh wait that doesn't work, just screaming... well someone might see this and get that)... existence is hard sort of day. Not like I want it to end or anything but maybe like can take a short break... like a small non-disruptive unit of time...@.@

@mawr I have a hard time trying to avoid the [EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE] and I feel [HELPLESS, ANGRY AND HOPELESS] syndrome leading to apathy everywhere lately... and it is just hard to express. Since my cooping mechanisms turn to "do what you can to support the people you can/care about and stay treading water" which is not.. helpful for [ALL OF THE EVERYTHING IS SPIRALING OUT OF CONTROL AND THE CENTER CAN NOT HOLD! HOW CAN <PROPAGANDA HATE FUELED GROUP> NOT SEE WHAT IS HAPPENING]

Holy hells, recently I did some research on fitness trackers because my doctor wanted some regular vitals as I pretty much only come in to the office when sick.

Most of them are absolute privacy nightmares and only handful of companies even let you opt out of data collection and processing.

Somehow they don't classify vitals and sleep data as health data under HIPPA in the US... wtf.

This is your yearly pleading request to #MastoAdmin: PLEASE turn off open registrations.

There are no effective spam prevention methods on the vanilla Mastodon sign up form. Website boy has been fighting us all for years about this.

Spammers will @ mention users of other instances and with enough spam, your instance will be isolated from the fediverse, which is hard to come back from. An ounce of prevention saves us all a lot of headache. Just do it.

While discussing a project that will take at least 15 business days with an engineer and my coworker and he is pushing for hard dates, his manager needs it done by the end of the quarter and that is fine. This requires some coordination between myself and my coworker and my coworker is on call this week.
"Is there any reason we can't just start this now?"

Sure let me drop all my other planned work and meetings today to work on this thing that needs to be done 6 weeks from now.

@saphire @anthracite

Not gonna lie.. with the issues awoo.space has been having I've been debating asking for an invite and migrating over for like a year.

Not for the first time, I find myself wishing that the NATO alphabet was part of standard training for customer service staff whose job includes receiving serial numbers being dictated to them

Me: "I'm going to get project work done today.. and like be productive."

Work: "I know you had plans but INCIDENT TIMES BE HAPPENING! Oh... and the deadline for performance reviews."

me, vanta, trans enby girl polyam lesbian gender terrorist: "people should block threads because it will make fedi unsafe for queer people"

the verge, for some reason: "OBVIOUSLY it's a bunch of NERD BOYS trying to keep the WOMEN out"

#FediPact #meta #threads

going through my old pieces and I really wanna highlight these two modemoiselles

good taste, @BestGirlGrace

On one hand... the idea of Murderbot Diaries getting a live action adaptation by Apple TV is interesting...

On the other.. very manly man for Murderbot... does not jive... and I'm expecting an extreme white washing..

Also translating cynical monologue to screen.. seems like it would be hard.

what the fuck... I actually had fun at a company christmas party for once.. that is like the weirdest damn thing.
Granted.. I unintentionally collected a posse of like a dozen queer and queer adjacent folks from ops and dragged them to the outside part of the venue and hung out for 4 hours but still..
Of course now I am suffering with no voice xD

re: Reflecting on a personal affirmation [7] (end) 

@mawr I struggle with this a lot.

We recently had our yearly self reviews at my new employer and was having long talk with my manager because I felt like I could have done more and was feeling guilty over ending up sick enough to get admitted to the hospital for a few days during a critical point in a project I was our teams primary representative on that had a lot of C-suite eyes on it.. and someone apparently mentioned I was attending project meetings from the hospital bed while being pumped full of antibiotics to him.

The end result made me feel a lot better.
Paraphrasing him but. "I really value what you bring to our Team and feel very good about the current team dynamic. It is normal that not everyone has the same amount of bandwidth and I'd rather you take on less work than get burned out. During your first year here you've taken on two major projects that were highest priority for the company and managed to keep them moving forward. You are doing great, other managers regularly ask if you are available for projects but I'd rather you be focused on one or two major projects than burning midnight oil to keep velocity and constantly context switching."

Like.. some days I barely manage to bang out some random answers to stuff and maybe a code review or two. Other days my brain is on fire and I'll spit out the thing I've supposedly been working on for the last two weeks and has been simmering in my head for weeks.. in like 6 hours and then collapse into a puddle.

And that is just like... work. Home life.. taking care of my self? Never enough time for everything.

Reflecting on a personal affirmation [7] (end) 

Ultimately, capitalism's demand for endless growth is designed intentionally to inspire you to push yourself past your limits.

Businesses purposefully assign challenging goals with unreasonable time frames to inspire a sense of urgency.

That urgency is toxic to mental health, and harming yourself to meet unreasonable goals will only result in even more challenging goals later on.

So: Just focus on making each step the best step you can take.

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