Kink talk - 'noncon' definition
Noncon: Abbreviated form of Non-consentual, generally used to refer to fully consentual play that pretends to lack consent. The primary mechanism of this is creating a 'hard' no that replaces the usual words used to request that things 'stop', such as a safe word, or the parentheses in text roleplaying signifying out-of-character.
Kink talk - 'noncon'
Everyone who participates in noncon play does so for very different reasons. So generalizations beyond this definition are very difficult. So from this point on, know that I'm talking about myself, specifically. Other people may share my thoughts as well, but that isn't something you can take for granted.
Kink talk - 'noncon' - Why?
I've spent a lot of time going over what makes my kinks tick, why I like the things I do. I think it's a useful thing! Finding the words to describe your feelings gives them weight and purpose. For me... Noncon play is a form of seeking validation. I am looking for someone who enjoys doing something to me that I already like. I struggle a lot with feeling valid (see other posts today) and my way around this? Have somebody else do it to me because THEY want it.
Kink talk - 'noncon' - Why? 2
My denials are tepid, my resistance token. I not only give in, I grant further ideas and guidance on how further to lock in to the ideas that are making me squirm.
The entire process is an act of mental suspension of disbelief, hanging over emotional pitfalls with trust being the safety net. It allows me to explore deeper elements of my psyche, and in the moment of climax, briefly escape my ego so that I can heal some of the damage that's accrued.
Kink talk - 'noncon', sex/sexuality
My experience with noncon is entirely through roleplay, because I am... I guess 'gray asexual'. I don't think about actual physical sex, I masturbate to ideas brought up in text or voice roleplay. I have little interest in actual sex. Even the roleplay rarely brings up sex, beyond a few edge cases. (Heh)
Kink talk - 'noncon' - How
So... Ultimately what it all comes down to is that I want someone to tell me that they want that thing that I want so bad that they won't wait for me to say yes. That they'll push past what little resistance I offer. I'm a desired object to be used as they please (the fact that how they please matches my OOC fantasies is ignored). The stronger their interest in what they're doing, the more powerful the squirms induced in me.