Turns out what broke Plasma was a funky KWin Script. I removed it and it all works good now.
I liked how Sway uses like 50MB of RAM, though.
I have to tinker with it to get it to where I may consider switching to it.
It's neat and all but it's weird to tile instead of stack...
It did, however, explode my portal settings and all Flatpak apps reverted to using the GTK file chooser.
Off to the wiki, ig.