Thirst through the storm (Lewd, MH--, Oblique USpol)
Things are rapidly falling apart lately. Work has presented me with an ever-shifting, ever-growing list of increasingly urgent (and yet simultaneously vague) responsibilities. I was literally told yesterday "If you don't think you are capable of performing your job, let me know so I can find someone who is". And this was in regard to a single task of at least a dozen on my plate.
The state of the world isn't helping, but I think we all know that. Casual fascism is shockingly common even here in the Bay Area, leading me to believe that I had better ascribe to their doctrine, should I want to survive. Which is, of course, at odds with my actual desires.
And yet, despite all this...
HOLY FUCK WHY AM I STILL SO OBSESSED WITH BECOMING A BIG TITTED GENIE?!
It's literally, like, the top process in the list of my brain CPU tasks. Become a genie. Become a slut. Become a magical whore with huge knockers and an insatiable cockthirst.
I mean, some aspect is clearly biological lust. But even when that's sated, I'm still whistful daydreaming about how much better life would be if I were a genie? Or at the very least, some reasonable facsimile there of? Or at least, the very least, the kind of girl I want to be???
But that's all at odds with what's reasonable, possible, or expected. And it should be a very low priority. And it's fucking DANGEROUS.
Yet it doesn't seem to be going away.
I never really learn that.
Thirst through the storm (Lewd, MH--, Oblique USpol)
@Phorm Have you considered looking for another job with a lower asshole boss quotient? Might do you a lot of good.
As for the later, feh. They're common but also outnumbered as hell. Loud and obnoxious, yes. Screw em.
As for the later, purge and reset cycles are a thing. Or in your case cork pressure.
As far as reasonable? Everything supports being who you want is healthier. The people ignoring that are the ones denying reality.
Thirst through the storm (Lewd, MH--, Oblique USpol)
@Doephin I haven't been looking for employ elsewhere, mostly because in my industry, it's not likely to get better anywhere.
I continually see what you're saying about it being healthier, and I recognize it. And yet I'm still fighting this part of me that thinks it would be a negative move if I went in that direction? I'm not sure. A lot of my life and support structure seems to hinge on meeting the expectations of others. I'm so skittish to do anything that might defy those expectations.
But I still acknowledge that you're right.