julius caesar once decided fuck it, let's invade britain in order to impress people back in rome.

except romans did not know how to do boats outside of the calm mediterranean sea, so like half the boats got blown entirely off course and ended up back on the mainland, where the soldiers on them basically just said "fuck this" and sat down and did nothing for several months. the boats that did make it, after a grueling several days trying to cross the english channel, found land.... except it was the white cliffs of dover, famous for being Very White and also Having Nowhere To Land A Boat. also there were just a bunch of celtic warriors on horseback silently staring at them from atop the cliffs

so they spent another few days trying to find a place to land the boats, just sailing along the cliffs while the celts watched them, continuing to be ominous

they finally made landfall and were completely exhausted and out of supplies and then for some reason decided to go on with trying to invade despite having like, only a couple hundred men

they were then basically thoroughly trounced and driven back off the island, which meant they lost even more boats before finally making landfall and spending a month or two trying to figure out where the fuck everyone had ended up because, again, romans did not know how to sail outside the mediterranean
-F