Meta and praxis
At the end of the day, if you hold people's arms back when they defend themselves against bad people, bigots and racists, you're no better than them, because you just enabled their harmful behaviour. Identify the harmful behaviour and call it out first.
Also do keep in mind that a lot of harmful language and attitudes are baked into our culture. So it's important to call it out, and work towards something that is generally less harmful.
If I step out of line, don't be afraid to poke me about it. I am trying to do better.